MirimtheMirim’s internet page thingie

i am involved in a very serious relationship with my balcony. my commitment to balconf surpasses all others, balconf’s the one.

i see balconf every night…lounging, laughing, playing, staring, belonging… i get lost in another world with balconf. a nonchalant, breezy and almost frivolous world where spirits automatically reject disturbances.

endless spectrums of pleasure with balconf, pleasure no other balcony has bestowed upon me. i fantasize and daydream about being together. when we are apart, i fantasize about balconf so intensely that it has distracted me from several conversations where i was required to respond, which i hate. i never have to respond to balconf, just being together is a euphoric journey on its own.

balconf is my happy place when im in a painfully awkward or boring situation. balconf takes me there, all the way. my mind aches without u.

unconditional availability, balconf is always there. the first thing i see in the morning, and the last thing i see at night. our bond is sanctified, holy in all its glory.

yes, that is a balcony view on my background; waikiki, hawaii.

ur so glad theres a new post arent u?

pace urselves, u shall have that thick, rich mrm goodness soon, very soonf. swearf.

today’s post is about chirp. she told me to do this a week ago but i had more leisurely things to do like hibernate.

i had to take some ppl to shi3ib park (yes, i had to. mrm is provoked when dragged somewhere but luckily i had not snapped. wantf balconyf), and had a great time with a few friends and our child chirp.

that was not by any means nurturing of me, she literally was a child! she wouldnt get on any games as she was ‘im afraid’ and would rather eat a cup of corn, which she did. she pointed out a couple of rides she would be willing to go on and would u fucking take a guess what they were? the swings that go round and round at the speed of a famished mosquito and the kiddy firefighter merry-go-round. i did manage to get her to go on these rides. by manage i mean forceful action.

how appropriate, theres a cake in the shot! for those that r unaware, chirp is the mr.baker of our sad, sad gang.

technically this isnt a ride, but she agreed to stand next to this figure. im glad u didnt find this scary as well chirp. this fotof is to emphasize chirps size. this figure is claimed to be a model of the tallest man on record. u perv stop pointing there. chrpf naughtttyff!

i hope that this tribute has pleased out of place chirp.

enioyy!

I heard that mbarak hospital has made extensive renovations in the past year or so, and today i had the unfortunate opportunity to see them. it was quite alright i guess… but i say unfortunate because in a country as wealthy as Kuwait, you’d fukn expect the place to be made of gold.

the ups and downs of a poorly planned project ahead.

i shall start with the ups.

i am so glad the hospital has evolved into one that actually uses signs instead of permanent marker scribbles  or notebook paper taped onto the door. alsof, the door knob is CLEAN…many ppl really dont value a clean door knob. the last place you wana have to touch a dirty door knob is in the hospital.  mbarak administration gets a doggy treat for this longly awaited occasion. +1

again, i cannot emphasize the often forgotten value of a clean hospital…reflections can be seen! and from the floor! this place was once dancing with rats! applaudf! Another treat, good boys. +1.

And as random as this is, at least the 18 Filipino muslims will have an ad3eeya book to read if they get sick. Who’re the good boys? you r! +1

intlx- ad3eeya=small book with excerpts of the Quran, im assuming in this case is to help the healing process spiritually.

and now, i will proceedf with the badf. Bad admin bad!

i mean it very literally when i say emaciaty wudnt be able to fit into this closet, severely emaciated as she is. mbarak? fuckfaces? 5million+ renovation budget and you couldnt make the closets just 10 inches wider? oh right…u each had to get that sports car for ur daughter, the Euro shopping sprees for ur wife, that house for your second wife, that apartment for ur north african mistress, the never ending investments u keep making knowing absolutely nothing about how it works and the bribes u r obligated to give so that ur money laundering will be hushed. ive over reacted, but ud be surprised how often this happens. -1

many people just cannot stand airplane food. its always complaints about the bread being too hard, the food too bland, the odor too strong and the choices too limited. next time ur snobby appetite starts bitching when ur being served a meal on a plane, think about what these sick ppl have to eat here at mbarak hospital in kuwait, one of the wealthiest countries in the world. were such a landfill of a waste.

torn wrappers, broken and possibly used containers, a stale kiri sandwich, and an unidentifiable slither of a slice pie…il7mdallah wishikr infashil. i am truly horrified and embarrassed.

i upload this ’salad’ photo in disgust. -1

apparently, only the wards had been renovated. all the staircases, bathrooms and waiting halls have stayed just the same. not surprisingly, the photo below of the staircase is actually what some of the wards looked like. admin, u failf very miserably. -1

total rally:

ups-3

downs-3

because it is a tie, i have stated earlier that i guess the hospital was ok. i only felt diseased 15% of my time there, thats very good.

those were the meaningless, unfortunate critiques of my day. twas almost cool tho

this is not typical mrm material, i apologize.

i dedicate this metaphorical Beirut post to emaciaty, now u cryf ok?

(taken from maze-of-thoughts.blogspot.com )

I used to be a beautiful city. Some people say I’m still as beautiful as I was before… I don’t like me anymore. I scare my kids away. I kill my people unintentionally. I starve them to death. I even turn some of their brightest days to a funeral in a split of a second.
Every day I stand there, waving to all these people, mostly young, leaving on these big airplanes, jealousy kills me, knowing that they will go and enjoy grocery shopping in a street I’ve never heard of, smiling to a stranger who doesn’t even know where their country is, working hard and becoming successful. I wish they could be here with me, becoming successful with me. I feel helpless without them, thousands and thousands leave, few come back while I sit waiting and waiting and waiting?
A girl came to me the other day, young and beautiful? Wearing that white dress made her look like an angel. Stood at the ‘Corniche’ with a coffee in her hand. She was staring at the sea with words coming out of her eyes
‘I miss you Beirut.
I miss your weather, miss your sea breeze.
I miss staring at you at night from my bedroom balcony when the world is sleeping and there is only you and I miss feeling loved.
I miss belonging to you, miss feeling the security.
You don’t know how hard it is to wake up every morning wondering if your parents or friends are ok, until you read the news and make few phone calls in case there was an explosion? Try harder Beirut
Tears filled my eyes and anger filled my heart? Didn’t know what to say to comfort her! My body is heavy and scattered, my land enjoys blood and every now and then one of my veins explodes and many of my innocent kids die. I can’t help it… I try…
‘I want to come back and live here Beirut, next to my family, next to my dad and brother? I want to raise my kids in Beirut, just the way I was raised? Never knew the difference between a Muslim, a Christian, or a Jew; never heard about terrorism. Want my kids to grow up on discipline, respect, beliefs, freedom and mostly integrity.
What happened to you Beirut? You’re no longer the same?
I turned and left, didn’t want to hear her anymore? She kept calling me but I never answered… She broke my heart, only because she was telling me the truth! I’m no longer Beirut she once enjoyed when she was 4. They took my magic away?
Ashamed I am. I starve my people to death; I have no shelter for them anymore, no security, no love among each other. I’m in pain, I want to endure more, maybe, maybe someday my people will understand the pain I’m going through and help me stand instead of walking all over me. I don’t blame them; they are hungry and poor?
She left on one of those big airplanes few days later, sad she looked back at me hoping to come back and see me at least in the same condition, but we both knew it was not the case; I screamed and screamed hoping for her to hear me?
I order you to come back? Yes I can’t promise you security but I promise you that you and me can make it together, come back and bring all those people who once left because I miss them, miss their faces and their laughs. Come back and fight for me, clean my body from rotten creatures, change the world for me, help me stand. I can’t do it alone.
I’m your city,
I’m your mother,
I’m your child,
I’m Beirut.

ive been social today. many may think that my day was not social at all. social= when i have to encounter more than ten ppl in one day. i dont mean ten friends/coworkers/relatives where you have to carry out conversations with and put in some effort, i mean ten ppl that could be: a sister, a maid, the woman who says excuse me, the salam 3alaikoms, a cashier and so on. i count those as interactions/encounters.

im concerned…these minor social obligations shouldnt be this painful and tedious. i miss my balcony…in the words of emaciaty, “you like to sit up there cuz you are being as least social as possible yet close enough to do some people watching”. which is true, i know all the neighbors shit and actually have picked up some names of the people walking by; they are now characters. Soha and [insert random name because i havent discovered her name yet] like to walk around the block a few times before bed, and almost everytime they mention a ‘Badriya’ ili thab7at’ha qahar…i think there was a stand off involved and they verbally bitch slapped each other at a gathering or wedding or something. then there is 3alawee…im guessing he just recently had sex cuz one night at his diwaniya i heard a bunch of guys moaning ‘3alaweeeee’ very girlishly then hysterically laughing and howling. wtf? ive also grown accustomed to the two domestic workers that meet up at the corner every night and smoke. i dont understand a word they say but they always, ALWAYS talk to each other very aggressively; like they were threatening one another. then, they abruptly start laughing. ALWAYS.

anyways, very creepy office and disgusting graphic images of the ear canal ahead. that is my warning.

its been a while since the splinter of a whore emaciaty and i met up. she is bakf, hopefully permanently. i called her during the evening and asked if she wanted to get an ear cleaning with me. she agreed. does anyone else have get weird invitations like that? plz share.

waiting room: portrait of a sheesha…wtf?

and btw its not cool to take public pics in kuwait…not cool as in get beat up. this portrait was next to some 3abaya lump and her husband, i tried as best as i could not to get her in the picture which i have done, but she was leaning away and complaining to her husband and he and his four chins were twitching…wow…

emaci n i walked into the doctor’s office, and bless him hes a great doctor, but really it was very disorienting and confusing.

the creepy office…

[insert disney's fantasia animation score]

and…he works in the dark. the images are not dark by fault, it really was dark. and he mumbles…emaciaty n i did not understand him most of the time he spoke. creepyf…emaciaty had a bite-size freak out when she was on the chair…i dont blame her…it felt like a confusing nightmare or what someone could experience when on shrooms.

now the graphicf partf…i got some serious advice today about cotton buds/q-tips. do not use them, they scrape away at the skin of ur ear canal and cause swelling and sometimes scarring and abrasions. the doctor’s advice was: after a shower, put a towel on ur ear and tilt ur head at a 90 degrees angle for a minute. he claims that water softens the wax out and drips out of the ear and onto the towel. i question this claim, but im going to have to do it because my ear canal has been crucified.

this is emaciaty’s ear

this is my tortured ear

actual skin scrapes can be seen. well, i must add that i love cleaning my ears with cotton buds…so this is an image of cotton bud abuse…but be carefulf.

i got a shot on my “prom da back” according to the nurse. Kamusta! i didnt start up a conversation with her this time. wasnt compelled to ask for it this time. we went to the pharmacy and got our meds like a couple of old farts and emaciaty noticed this supplement… “whats the point?” she said. hahahaha

which reminded me of a product i saw a while ago in another pharmacy

just how deterring are those labels?

it just was a very confusing hour.

then i met up with few feofle and had some coffee. i ordered a salad, but chirpy stole MY FORK and ate with her own fork and mine. she hogged the salad. chirp proudly points at exhibit A and B, emaciaty style.

we then toast our fingers for a lovely and very quirky evening. emaciaty’s so emaciated shes evaporating…

N., chirp, evaporaty…thankoo for nice time.

those were the confusing, socialf yet very fortunate events of my evening. twas cool tho.

mirim iz bakf for some smelly fun.

absolutely everything i did today was smelly.

so for those of u that suffer from anal-nasal (those that get grossed out and nauseas when someone mentions shit or something and then think they actually can smell it, then get anal and dramatically nag you to stop talking about shit in disgust. shutup) refrain from reading this entry.

I dedicate this poorly lit, cramped fuwanees/lanterns photo to Chirp. was dragged to pick a couple of lanterns for the blahblahblahblahblahff…it was smelly. smelly=unfiltered cigarettes, socks, sweat, dust…just like the airport in sharm elsheikh.

i was then dragged from a smelly place to an even smellier place.

ilmo3alim. the scents, the smells. oh, the unfortunate smells.

if ur anything like me, random at heart, you would go ballistic here…the randomness! im in luf! this is where now, i have decided, will be the time i shall extend a hearty request. I request, and urge u to go to ilmo3alim, snap the craziest shit and blog about it in dedication to mrm. yes, i like to inspire and i also want to see randomness from a totally non mrm perspective!!!

So, since i was dragged i did not want to spend a lot of time taking pictures. wanted to get the out of there and not feel diseased. why does petty boop look punished? taksir ilkha6r. but hey, at least they tried to respect a copyright law by spelling it petty boop…hehehhe petty! wtf! (o 7ag ildanabok rab3i ili may3arfoon shino ya3ni petty: of little or no importance or consequence) she looks like ‘petty boop; plz pet me cuz im sad :(’ or for my more educated audience ‘petty boop; punish me…im a failure…im worthless and petty!’

and now an item that matched the scent of the location…for 6.750 you can have ur very own pot that looks like its spewing boiling dog grass vomit. what the hell? really? ppl buy this?!?!//!!!?!1?

at the counter they sold vibex. dont strain ur eyes trying to read. u will be provided a better view of the instructions below.

no wonder the place smelled…their selling deodorant with instructions to use it once a week! wtf!

i hate to admit it, but i would honestly love to have pancakes shaped like the suits with maple syrup. ohoo. of all the cravings i get, the worst one is when i have pancake cravings. really…ive screwed myself. i remember once i was up at 4am and sabrina the teenage bitch was on (back then) paramount and it was a pancake episode. i dont remember anything else about the episodes, just that there were a lot of pancakes involved. i wanted them. i painfully craved them for 4 days until i finally got some pancake mix and feasted. yes i was obese, ok emaciaty? but since then i have lost 15 kilos so shut the fuck up and dont even try to bash…ive been moving on…what have YOU done with ur face lately? no? nothing? still saluki looking? thought so, shutf.

my favorite suit is spades…im drawn by its character. i believe they all have characters… this is how i see them:

Hearts: he seems like Corny Casanova from medieval times, full on with white stalkings and powder wig. very gay

Clubs: he seems like the geekily gay jokester…very puffy in contour, flaky with no sharp edges making him a pushover and lacking sleekness and finesse.

Diamonds: The rich bitch of the bunch and she will eat you alive.

Spade: its shaped as if two question marks mirrored one another, giving it a mysterious essence. id like to see her as the mysterious, dark cut throat of the bunch. coolf!

the smelliness resembled feet, pit stain stench, cancer, bug spray, and detergent.

on the way i home i stopped by this tiny little monajid (intlxp-not exactly a furniture maker, but a small place that can sow pillows, bean bags, floor seatings, etc) run by very old Irani men and it smelled like tea, chalk (wtf?), ni3il/slippers, bread and cigarettes. not so bad compared to the previous smells i was exposed to. i had asked him to make the fastest, cheap bean bag he could because i needed it last minute. i even gave him pictures of a bean bag. they were clearly bean bags. and this is what he came up with. its nothing remotely close to a bean bag, but i was impressed…i love it! the fabric its very plain, i know, but i chose that fabric for a tiny little beanbag i really wasnt going to go all designy with a bean bag. and this is what he came up with…i shall call this the Irani beanbag. it is comfy as hell. im making emaciaty a smaller one. will show picture when its done.

and those were the smelly, unfortunate events of the evening. twas cool tho

ur excited to read this post right? hahaha filthy ppl.

the random lesson for today is social irony.  its very simple.

you know those ppl that have fake carrot tans and wear toupees and think theyre the life of the party and are just blind to the discomfort they are to others and are just weird? *breathe…long sentencef. well, im sure we can unanimously and universally say that it is sad that they really and truly believe they are cool. so very painfully sad. cornily, pitifully sad.

so i get this cheap ass welcome mat for kicks/rafsat and plop it on the entrance of the garden door.

welcome mat is funny, jes? also ironic when u see our next door neighbor’s jetski.

‘ Ma as3abak’

englishf- ‘how hard r u’

and that was the sad, very sad event of the day.

for once, ill start off the blog with a nondistrurbing/nonrandom picture.

doesnt it make u want a sunkist and jump around the water like a dolphin?

notice how the sunlight breaks into the photo on the top left corner…nice nof?

today my thoughts are all ghetto, so this shall be ‘the ghetto’ sub entry under the original title.

the other day as i was walking to my car to drive out of the GHETTO i live in, i noticed that my car has gotten infected with the skank and ghettoness of the area. the flies had gotten inside my tail lights and DIED. they were behind the glass!!!

the other night, emaciaty dropped me off at home in her beautiful car that makes up for her Saluki-looking face and she noticed this on the street…

a pair of shoes…in the middle of the street… its so very ghetto but slightly creepy…

ghetto tshirt of a ghetto girl…HAAAAY HAAAY HAAAAAAY PAAHAHAAY! *not everyone will understand that, but it was intended that way.

this next one is more cheap than ghetto, but whats ghetto about it is that it is sold at A-Z homestore in shwaikh. for those not involved with the homestore world, A-Z probably sells good (i will not say high, because its just not there yet) quality decorations, home item needs, furniture, fabrics, etc. So this 16KD abomination with the cheap golden sticker stuck to the front of it being sold there is pretty ghetto.

Vom, and then It. really, it makes me want to vomitf.

enyoiyyy

WHY??

spot the controversial blasph in this photo.

snapshot courtesy of Nwair.

yknow, there should be a happy middle child’s day. goddammmmffffit.

So mother’s day is coming up…How about u get ur specialf mommyf a bra from Marko (Marks & spencer)? ironically, my mother came up ‘Marko’, i never once heard her say Marks & spencer. i guess fate wants me to buy mommfy a bra.

and another selection for those unfortunate ppl that walked into their parent’s ‘making a lovely baby’ and know that their mom likes her some naughty kink kinkff thongs.

Get shopping!

Hello all… i have emerged from my hibernative state and joined the public masses.

phay/fajita has great networking skills because she managed to get a bunch of us to have lunch in under an hour. for some of u that may not seem like such a big deal, but in our clique that is a huge accomplishment because we’re all always scattered around and it takes us a god damn year to make plans. however, she managed to get gym obsessed do33, all-over-the-place jenna, out-of-place chirp and the hibernating mirim the mirim all together for a hearty hindi meal.

for some reason that is beyond me, we all got hysterically excited when we saw ourselves on the security camera of the restaurant. group photof!!

we’re such losers.

moving on…we were seated by a tall mustached waiter and ordered. by mustached i mean salem the cat had made a permanent home on that man’s upper lip, 3abdallah alrwaished style. i had asked the waiter what his name was and he responded very monotonically ‘Mityou’. So when ever we needed our drinks to be topped off or for more napkins i would say ‘Mityou, please bring us [insert trivial task here]‘. towards the end of the meal someone noticed his tiny name tag and it read ‘Matthew’. So the entire time i sounded like a moronic retard that has absolutely no command of the English language. Please, if you are given a Christian name, LEARN HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT. pleaseff.

the good part is next! yayyy!! molestationff!!!/1!!/!!!

after the hearty hindi meal, we did some shopping. we walked into a store and critiqued clothes. yes, we took a couple of steps back, pondered then commented and counter-commented on a blouse. we r opinionated shoppers. Yes. we are.

As this was all happening, an elderly Filipina saleswoman followed us around to help out. actually, to self herself TO. she cupped and squeezed do33’s ass twice. after the first time, do33 freaked out and was on my fucking back to help her. wtf? shasaweelich? (intlxp- what do u want me to do for u in a very mocking tone). after the second time, there was no distance from her torso to the back of my torso. do33 stuck to me like gum, the effing pussy. SHE HAS A BLACK BELT IN KYOKSHIN (some fancy ass mala da3i word substitute for karate)!!!! bitch karate kick her ass out. so yeah she was molested in public and all those years of ‘Haaaaaa-yaaaa’s and working out to the music of ‘eye of the tiger’ really paid of ha? idiotf.

so we take her to have some dessert…we read through the dessert menu and frankly each selection looked like a sure taste bud orgasm. do33 starts by ordering…

“please i want craym boolay”

“what maam?” *giggles the waiter

“crayyym boolay…” *mumbles very quietly because she know she has thrown a badleeya (verbal typo).

“HAHAHAHAA Oh she means creme broulet… Philip (Philip the Filipino waiter?) she would like a creme broulet”

“shutup mrm”

do33 and her craym boolay…

our desserts and chirpy’s so very out of place plate of curly fries. wat the hell? chirpy and her nail polish dig in…

i did not order that mountain of a brownie. i know the angle of the shot may indicate that it was i who was sitting in front of that sugary heaven. but i swear it was not, phay took the shot. i dont want to go on with this fat stigma!!! it has to end!!!

hahahaha do33 yal badliya! you r the emaciaty in this post…but only this post. emaciaty cannot be matched. but today, youve been emaciated!!

and now, i really would like to applaud the designers that decorated this mall. its creepy, yet contemporarily artsy fartsy. coolf.

lady, better shots this time i hope? <:)

and those were the unfortunate, sex criminal events of my day. twas cool tho.

im being pressured to blog. dont u guys get tired of the randmoness? go read a meaningful blog! hahahaff. fff

anyways…i really dont know how to use the tools of my internet page thingie to their fullest capacity. i still cant figure out how my header turned out that way… ppl are like ooooohhh ur like the mysterious cool mona lisa type of thing haaa…fuck off it just happened and im not sure how to go about changing it. i need some help. i cant even get it to say the time of my posts/your comments. also, when i get cool and learn how to do all that stuffeff i wanna add a mini side bar animation of something totally gay or fucked up, just like suspic has. its sad that i have formed virtual ma3arif…i dont even make ma3arif in real life (for intlxp- ma3arif= acquaintances). See… i mentioned them both and really, their like HUGE in the underground blog world; well, in my blog world anyway.

thumps up to both of u!

moving on…some weird products(?) iv come acrossf in the span of a couple of weeks…not much, but funff.

had to urgently send some chick i dont know flowers because she gave birth BECAUSE I HAVE TO OR WHAT WILL PPL SAY ???!?//1?!??/1?!?!! so went to the closest flower shop i could find in jabriya called Russia. Vom, and then it. pure vomit.

Gag…really it says it all! the flowers were crunchy!!! like chips!!! and on top of that they wrap them in plastic that reads ‘GAG’!! total blasph in the botany world.

if you thought that was all, then sadly u do not know mirim. as if that wasnt totally vomitesque enough, they thought it would be decorative to have fishbowls with dead fish floating around whimsically. GAGFFF!

Found some gems in sul6an…randoms in the rough, if you will.

its comically fucked up that someone had bottle, nipple, vegetable and liquid cleaner all put the same label…i was amused.

alright, kho wants their own real baby khabibi dolllllllly! endorsed by the above Borat. theyre kinda creepfyy…both looking down like their looking at something…

sul6an, ur slipping…be careful.  i shouldnt be finding this shit inside u sul6an…inside u…be careful.

and those were the groupy, random unfortunate events of the past few weeks. twas cool tho.

really, just a piece of wtfing art.

Wott Shi yohh!?  (is what i imagine ‘wtf?!’ is in Sushic)

jarir was the random main course, the entre was the wtfkering journey.

now really…how can the ministry of planning misspell the capital of the country that raped us? no really HOW?

britsh ppl r cooooooolf

wow the Saudis have gotten really eerie/random with that place (for those who do not know, Jarir bookstore is a Saudi bookstore chain). the things they have there…are just weird. its like mixing cornflakes with a salad. everything is so out of place!

lets start with this…

this kid really is unhappy… his face…7arram i wanna give him a donut! moving on…wat the hell? who the hell wants to be a Kuwaiti policeman for halloween? what the hell is this doing in a bookstore!!!

why did they make scooby doo effeminate? again what the hell is this doing in a bookstore?

Inoxcrom Pens advertise their products with a cartoon donkey with flies orbiting its head. this bookstore is hilarious!

and those were my unfortunate, random events of the day. twas cool tho.