MirimtheMirim’s internet page thingie

spot the controversial blasph in this photo.

snapshot courtesy of Nwair.

yknow, there should be a happy middle child’s day. goddammmmffffit.

So mother’s day is coming up…How about u get ur specialf mommyf a bra from Marko (Marks & spencer)? ironically, my mother came up ‘Marko’, i never once heard her say Marks & spencer. i guess fate wants me to buy mommfy a bra.

and another selection for those unfortunate ppl that walked into their parent’s ‘making a lovely baby’ and know that their mom likes her some naughty kink kinkff thongs.

Get shopping!

Hello all… i have emerged from my hibernative state and joined the public masses.

phay/fajita has great networking skills because she managed to get a bunch of us to have lunch in under an hour. for some of u that may not seem like such a big deal, but in our clique that is a huge accomplishment because we’re all always scattered around and it takes us a god damn year to make plans. however, she managed to get gym obsessed do33, all-over-the-place jenna, out-of-place chirp and the hibernating mirim the mirim all together for a hearty hindi meal.

for some reason that is beyond me, we all got hysterically excited when we saw ourselves on the security camera of the restaurant. group photof!!

we’re such losers.

moving on…we were seated by a tall mustached waiter and ordered. by mustached i mean salem the cat had made a permanent home on that man’s upper lip, 3abdallah alrwaished style. i had asked the waiter what his name was and he responded very monotonically ‘Mityou’. So when ever we needed our drinks to be topped off or for more napkins i would say ‘Mityou, please bring us [insert trivial task here]‘. towards the end of the meal someone noticed his tiny name tag and it read ‘Matthew’. So the entire time i sounded like a moronic retard that has absolutely no command of the English language. Please, if you are given a Christian name, LEARN HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT. pleaseff.

the good part is next! yayyy!! molestationff!!!/1!!/!!!

after the hearty hindi meal, we did some shopping. we walked into a store and critiqued clothes. yes, we took a couple of steps back, pondered then commented and counter-commented on a blouse. we r opinionated shoppers. Yes. we are.

As this was all happening, an elderly Filipina saleswoman followed us around to help out. actually, to self herself TO. she cupped and squeezed do33’s ass twice. after the first time, do33 freaked out and was on my fucking back to help her. wtf? shasaweelich? (intlxp- what do u want me to do for u in a very mocking tone). after the second time, there was no distance from her torso to the back of my torso. do33 stuck to me like gum, the effing pussy. SHE HAS A BLACK BELT IN KYOKSHIN (some fancy ass mala da3i word substitute for karate)!!!! bitch karate kick her ass out. so yeah she was molested in public and all those years of ‘Haaaaaa-yaaaa’s and working out to the music of ‘eye of the tiger’ really paid of ha? idiotf.

so we take her to have some dessert…we read through the dessert menu and frankly each selection looked like a sure taste bud orgasm. do33 starts by ordering…

“please i want craym boolay”

“what maam?” *giggles the waiter

“crayyym boolay…” *mumbles very quietly because she know she has thrown a badleeya (verbal typo).

“HAHAHAHAA Oh she means creme broulet… Philip (Philip the Filipino waiter?) she would like a creme broulet”

“shutup mrm”

do33 and her craym boolay…

our desserts and chirpy’s so very out of place plate of curly fries. wat the hell? chirpy and her nail polish dig in…

i did not order that mountain of a brownie. i know the angle of the shot may indicate that it was i who was sitting in front of that sugary heaven. but i swear it was not, phay took the shot. i dont want to go on with this fat stigma!!! it has to end!!!

hahahaha do33 yal badliya! you r the emaciaty in this post…but only this post. emaciaty cannot be matched. but today, youve been emaciated!!

and now, i really would like to applaud the designers that decorated this mall. its creepy, yet contemporarily artsy fartsy. coolf.

lady, better shots this time i hope? <:)

and those were the unfortunate, sex criminal events of my day. twas cool tho.

im being pressured to blog. dont u guys get tired of the randmoness? go read a meaningful blog! hahahaff. fff

anyways…i really dont know how to use the tools of my internet page thingie to their fullest capacity. i still cant figure out how my header turned out that way… ppl are like ooooohhh ur like the mysterious cool mona lisa type of thing haaa…fuck off it just happened and im not sure how to go about changing it. i need some help. i cant even get it to say the time of my posts/your comments. also, when i get cool and learn how to do all that stuffeff i wanna add a mini side bar animation of something totally gay or fucked up, just like suspic has. its sad that i have formed virtual ma3arif…i dont even make ma3arif in real life (for intlxp- ma3arif= acquaintances). See… i mentioned them both and really, their like HUGE in the underground blog world; well, in my blog world anyway.

thumps up to both of u!

moving on…some weird products(?) iv come acrossf in the span of a couple of weeks…not much, but funff.

had to urgently send some chick i dont know flowers because she gave birth BECAUSE I HAVE TO OR WHAT WILL PPL SAY ???!?//1?!??/1?!?!! so went to the closest flower shop i could find in jabriya called Russia. Vom, and then it. pure vomit.

Gag…really it says it all! the flowers were crunchy!!! like chips!!! and on top of that they wrap them in plastic that reads ‘GAG’!! total blasph in the botany world.

if you thought that was all, then sadly u do not know mirim. as if that wasnt totally vomitesque enough, they thought it would be decorative to have fishbowls with dead fish floating around whimsically. GAGFFF!

Found some gems in sul6an…randoms in the rough, if you will.

its comically fucked up that someone had bottle, nipple, vegetable and liquid cleaner all put the same label…i was amused.

alright, kho wants their own real baby khabibi dolllllllly! endorsed by the above Borat. theyre kinda creepfyy…both looking down like their looking at something…

sul6an, ur slipping…be careful.  i shouldnt be finding this shit inside u sul6an…inside u…be careful.

and those were the groupy, random unfortunate events of the past few weeks. twas cool tho.

really, just a piece of wtfing art.

Wott Shi yohh!?  (is what i imagine ‘wtf?!’ is in Sushic)

jarir was the random main course, the entre was the wtfkering journey.

now really…how can the ministry of planning misspell the capital of the country that raped us? no really HOW?

britsh ppl r cooooooolf

wow the Saudis have gotten really eerie/random with that place (for those who do not know, Jarir bookstore is a Saudi bookstore chain). the things they have there…are just weird. its like mixing cornflakes with a salad. everything is so out of place!

lets start with this…

this kid really is unhappy… his face…7arram i wanna give him a donut! moving on…wat the hell? who the hell wants to be a Kuwaiti policeman for halloween? what the hell is this doing in a bookstore!!!

why did they make scooby doo effeminate? again what the hell is this doing in a bookstore?

Inoxcrom Pens advertise their products with a cartoon donkey with flies orbiting its head. this bookstore is hilarious!

and those were my unfortunate, random events of the day. twas cool tho.

i just suddenly remembered all the weird ass shit ive heard over the past few weeks… get ready for some class A wtfing.

memory junk snippet ahead, get the damn popcorn.

i decided to go to the salon to have my hair blow dried and the only hairdresser on duty was a Thai woman. Funf!! so she starts washing my hair and i say the few Thai words i learned when i visited last year…she cheered…it was pleasant. i then sat on a chair and as she tended to my hair i asked her what her name was.

Her name was Moan. i thought i must have misunderstood her so i asked her to spell it out. “M-O-A-N”.

On another day i went to get my teeth cleaned. Being at the dentist is always the worst hour of my life. As i shivered my way to patient’s chair (by shiver i mean wobble. not fattff! just bloated.bloatff), a nice Filipina dental assistant prepared the area and prepped me up. They were the most intense 5 minutes of my stay there; albeit i had a cleaning AND a cavity. We had a conversation in Tagalog which is always fun…its like my Wasta with Filipinos, they tend to take better care of me when i speak to them in their language. Anyway, the first minute or so was just chit chat then i made the sincere mistake asking her if she was married. She immediately told me she had a daughter back home and her husband is a nurse in KSA and that shes so miserable. Im sorry, really…what the hell do u want me to say to that i dont know u!! so i let out an understanding sigh, then she further confessed to me that her husband had not passed his nurse’s degree and that the only place anyone would hire one without a nurse’s degree is in KSA. and she told me to shhhh bout it…what the hell? awkward+wtf+embrace privacy+ksa tsk tsk tsk+pain.

went to the hosp to get high off the IV drips so as i sat on the bed a Filipina nurse came and made small talk in in broken english and tagalog.

“hi”

“hellooo madam whats wrong why u need dis drip”

“i dunno exactly why but here the doctor’s slip”

“aaaaaiii…ur blad pressure is low dats why. whats ur name”

“mirim”

“u hab boyprend?”

“hahaha no i dont, everyone’s crazy and ugly hahaha”

“hahahaha ok ok do u want boyprend? i have so many men and dey will be lucky to hab u ur so byootipol”

“haaa…haaa… noo noo everyone’s a pig”

“really ur still young u must take adbantage of your age. i have kuwaiti, lebanese, egyptian also is very nice…”

“heh…uhhhh…no no really thank u i dont want”

“no really its ok no bady will know u u can come to party and see dem ok darling”

the bitch tried to pimp me out. i dont need to write what i think, im sure u have come to the same conclusions about how inappropriate, random, wtfuckery and scary that was.

that concludes the pointless memory junk i have for this evening. twas cool tho.

u know… i bet most kuwaitis would prefer building a new mall rather than fixing this…

i kinda forgot i had a blog… but i have remembered now so let the wtfing commence!

sometime in my grief stricken absence (Citibank, i know you missed alllllllllllllla this) i had the opportunity to stalk this walking beauty school experiment gone awfully wrong and snap a shot… yes, she was fashioning turquoise hair tips… WTF?

and this is emaciaty touching me. she thought it would be fun to withdraw the needle…yknow, she’d be a good junkie one day, she handles needles very well.

my sister got me these sexy kick-ass bookends bookends. i cannot say it once, it sounds wrong. im sharing this with you because i am bored and i do not feel safe going out in this schizophrenic weather…allergies n stuff.

if u know where i can find this in ORANGE, kindly leave the location/telephone number of the store.

before any of my 11 readers read into this as being abusive towards pahaheelians, i would like to clarify that i am being abusive and loving towards them. i fucking love that place. its hilarious, random and has the aura of tribal masculinity…which are some of the traits i look for in a man.mannfffi.

A few weeks ago, Nuki, jenna and i decided to visit the ‘heart’ of fahaheel’s thrift shops. by ‘heart’ i mean colon because thats wat the place smelled like.

a lot of pics ahead…yeyyyyy!!!

get ur old school broken gamegear to get it pimped and blinged out. i dont know if they really do that, i just assume.

a Freej tracksuit any proud 8 yr old Fahaheelian girl can be proud of. “ba3d il 3ayayiz kilshay jayiz” -translateff “after the old women, everything is possible”

yes! they can plan weddings AND get you a maid that can do what any ONE person can do…like cook, clean, garden, raise the 4-9 children you keep having for no reason, wash the car(s) everyday in blistering winters and sweltering summers, do the laundry, iron clothes, make up every room, fully capable of having all their dreams murdered by forcefully servicing you/your children and their friends, gets the groceries, commutes with your kids to school,  requires only 5 hours of sleep a night for just 40kd! *price negotiable based on age, and attractiveness. really, it is.

wow this shop really put its faith on that one nagsha/print. who wants a a dress/curtains that looks like a headache? its everywhere! its almost all they had!

really…?

then just for rafsat/kicks we went in to see a jeweler to see how much Kuki’s ring would resale for.

then this bastard looks at it for 10 minutes and says 35. it originally costs 300% more than that.

wtf? really wahahhahahahahahhahahaahahaaha! i want to translate it for intlxpatr , but really i cannot think of the word for this in English, and this is coming from the person whose idiot sisters nicknamed ‘Essay’. i will try tho…

“the-person-who-has-just-recently-gotten-a-little-better-looking is in danger”

and now upside down trees…in Jlai3a tho…mo b3eed min pahaheel, il damm wa7id.

i love reality shows, but none of that ‘ real world’, ‘big brother’, ‘arab whores/losers academy’ crap.

my spectrum of reality show interests varies…i love survivor, and i shall give you three reasons why. One: Sexy ppl…u do get the occasional fat/loud/hick/annoying/disgusting/scrawny contestant, but i have never seen a more rugged man than on that show. hunger. Two: Beautiful locations. malat 3alaina. Three: The way the game is designed to fuck with a group of ppl in every which way, and they are expected to cooperate and form a working sub society…failure comes with the price. their failures amuse me.

so now my favorite network FOX (solely because the network carries The Simpsons) has come up with a new reality show called Moment of Truth. Basically, they attach a lie detector test to the contestant and grill them with personal/inappropriate questions. If the contestant answers honestly and passes the lie detector test, they get money n shit.

Some questions i would ask:

- Have you ever smuggled anything illegal into a country? (i know at least 3 ppl that would have to say ‘yes’ to pass the test lol)

- Do you wish death onto one of your friends? (in the Argentinian version of the show, a woman had to admit to thinking about hiring a hitman at one point in her life to kil husbandf.)

- Have you ever ruined a life by telling a lie?

- Would u resort to prostitution if it meant having all the luxuries u want?

- does your spouse/girlefrind/boyefrend repulse you while dining?

Since 2000, i have been a frequent visitor of http://www.dailyconfession.com

it is a website where ppl confess sins and what not (more often than not the confessions are hilarious rather than blasphemous).

well…it has been 8 years since i started visiting it, and it just gets more and more entertaining and random to say the least.

excellent relief for those bored…

it was 9 degrees Celsius outside…they suggested it, i just paid. i love how one of them claws and grabs at the other…perfect module of a true friendship lol

for best results turn on the volume. i love the vomit sound one of them makes at the end hahahaha