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memory junk February 28, 2008

Posted by Mrm in Blasphemy, out&about, random, sex, WTFing.
11 comments

i just suddenly remembered all the weird ass shit ive heard over the past few weeks… get ready for some class A wtfing.

memory junk snippet ahead, get the damn popcorn.

mshhddd

i decided to go to the salon to have my hair blow dried and the only hairdresser on duty was a Thai woman. Funf!! so she starts washing my hair and i say the few Thai words i learned when i visited last year…she cheered…it was pleasant. i then sat on a chair and as she tended to my hair i asked her what her name was.

Her name was Moan. i thought i must have misunderstood her so i asked her to spell it out. “M-O-A-N”.

On another day i went to get my teeth cleaned. Being at the dentist is always the worst hour of my life. As i shivered my way to patient’s chair (by shiver i mean wobble. not fattff! just bloated.bloatff), a nice Filipina dental assistant prepared the area and prepped me up. They were the most intense 5 minutes of my stay there; albeit i had a cleaning AND a cavity. We had a conversation in Tagalog which is always fun…its like my Wasta with Filipinos, they tend to take better care of me when i speak to them in their language. Anyway, the first minute or so was just chit chat then i made the sincere mistake asking her if she was married. She immediately told me she had a daughter back home and her husband is a nurse in KSA and that shes so miserable. Im sorry, really…what the hell do u want me to say to that i dont know u!! so i let out an understanding sigh, then she further confessed to me that her husband had not passed his nurse’s degree and that the only place anyone would hire one without a nurse’s degree is in KSA. and she told me to shhhh bout it…what the hell? awkward+wtf+embrace privacy+ksa tsk tsk tsk+pain.

went to the hosp to get high off the IV drips so as i sat on the bed a Filipina nurse came and made small talk in in broken english and tagalog.

“hi”

“hellooo madam whats wrong why u need dis drip”

“i dunno exactly why but here the doctor’s slip”

“aaaaaiii…ur blad pressure is low dats why. whats ur name”

“mirim”

“u hab boyprend?”

“hahaha no i dont, everyone’s crazy and ugly hahaha”

“hahahaha ok ok do u want boyprend? i have so many men and dey will be lucky to hab u ur so byootipol”

“haaa…haaa… noo noo everyone’s a pig”

“really ur still young u must take adbantage of your age. i have kuwaiti, lebanese, egyptian also is very nice…”

“heh…uhhhh…no no really thank u i dont want”

“no really its ok no bady will know u u can come to party and see dem ok darling”

the bitch tried to pimp me out. i dont need to write what i think, im sure u have come to the same conclusions about how inappropriate, random, wtfuckery and scary that was.

that concludes the pointless memory junk i have for this evening. twas cool tho.

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rich country= trafficly challenged February 28, 2008

Posted by Mrm in out&about, WTFing.
3 comments

u know… i bet most kuwaitis would prefer building a new mall rather than fixing this…

WTFing in almowasat February 28, 2008

Posted by Mrm in WTFing.
6 comments

i kinda forgot i had a blog… but i have remembered now so let the wtfing commence!

sometime in my grief stricken absence (Citibank, i know you missed alllllllllllllla this) i had the opportunity to stalk this walking beauty school experiment gone awfully wrong and snap a shot… yes, she was fashioning turquoise hair tips… WTF?

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and this is emaciaty touching me. she thought it would be fun to withdraw the needle…yknow, she’d be a good junkie one day, she handles needles very well.

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bookends bookends February 19, 2008

Posted by Mrm in gifts.
5 comments

my sister got me these sexy kick-ass bookends bookends. i cannot say it once, it sounds wrong. im sharing this with you because i am bored and i do not feel safe going out in this schizophrenic weather…allergies n stuff.

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SE K770i in ORANGE February 18, 2008

Posted by Mrm in Uncategorized.
4 comments

if u know where i can find this in ORANGE, kindly leave the location/telephone number of the store.

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memoirs of a 7thiriya in pahahahaheeeel February 17, 2008

Posted by Mrm in botany, kuwait, Money, out&about, random, WTFing.
9 comments

before any of my 11 readers read into this as being abusive towards pahaheelians, i would like to clarify that i am being abusive and loving towards them. i fucking love that place. its hilarious, random and has the aura of tribal masculinity…which are some of the traits i look for in a man.mannfffi.

A few weeks ago, Nuki, jenna and i decided to visit the ‘heart’ of fahaheel’s thrift shops. by ‘heart’ i mean colon because thats wat the place smelled like.

a lot of pics ahead…yeyyyyy!!!

get ur old school broken gamegear to get it pimped and blinged out. i dont know if they really do that, i just assume.

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a Freej tracksuit any proud 8 yr old Fahaheelian girl can be proud of. “ba3d il 3ayayiz kilshay jayiz” -translateff “after the old women, everything is possible”

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yes! they can plan weddings AND get you a maid that can do what any ONE person can do…like cook, clean, garden, raise the 4-9 children you keep having for no reason, wash the car(s) everyday in blistering winters and sweltering summers, do the laundry, iron clothes, make up every room, fully capable of having all their dreams murdered by forcefully servicing you/your children and their friends, gets the groceries, commutes with your kids to school,  requires only 5 hours of sleep a night for just 40kd! *price negotiable based on age, and attractiveness. really, it is.

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wow this shop really put its faith on that one nagsha/print. who wants a a dress/curtains that looks like a headache? its everywhere! its almost all they had!

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really…?

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then just for rafsat/kicks we went in to see a jeweler to see how much Kuki’s ring would resale for.

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then this bastard looks at it for 10 minutes and says 35. it originally costs 300% more than that.

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wtf? really wahahhahahahahahhahahaahahaaha! i want to translate it for intlxpatr , but really i cannot think of the word for this in English, and this is coming from the person whose idiot sisters nicknamed ‘Essay’. i will try tho…

“the-person-who-has-just-recently-gotten-a-little-better-looking is in danger”

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and now upside down trees…in Jlai3a tho…mo b3eed min pahaheel, il damm wa7id.

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moment of truth February 16, 2008

Posted by Mrm in TV.
8 comments

momentoftrth

i love reality shows, but none of that ‘ real world’, ‘big brother’, ‘arab whores/losers academy’ crap.

my spectrum of reality show interests varies…i love survivor, and i shall give you three reasons why. One: Sexy ppl…u do get the occasional fat/loud/hick/annoying/disgusting/scrawny contestant, but i have never seen a more rugged man than on that show. hunger. Two: Beautiful locations. malat 3alaina. Three: The way the game is designed to fuck with a group of ppl in every which way, and they are expected to cooperate and form a working sub society…failure comes with the price. their failures amuse me.

so now my favorite network FOX (solely because the network carries The Simpsons) has come up with a new reality show called Moment of Truth. Basically, they attach a lie detector test to the contestant and grill them with personal/inappropriate questions. If the contestant answers honestly and passes the lie detector test, they get money n shit.

Some questions i would ask:

– Have you ever smuggled anything illegal into a country? (i know at least 3 ppl that would have to say ‘yes’ to pass the test lol)

– Do you wish death onto one of your friends? (in the Argentinian version of the show, a woman had to admit to thinking about hiring a hitman at one point in her life to kil husbandf.)

– Have you ever ruined a life by telling a lie?

– Would u resort to prostitution if it meant having all the luxuries u want?

– does your spouse/girlefrind/boyefrend repulse you while dining?