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serious relationship April 17, 2008

Posted by Mrm in balcony.

i am involved in a very serious relationship with my balcony. my commitment to balconf surpasses all others, balconf’s the one.

i see balconf every night…lounging, laughing, playing, staring, belonging… i get lost in another world with balconf. a nonchalant, breezy and almost frivolous world where spirits automatically reject disturbances.

endless spectrums of pleasure with balconf, pleasure no other balcony has bestowed upon me. i fantasize and daydream about being together. when we are apart, i fantasize about balconf so intensely that it has distracted me from several conversations where i was required to respond, which i hate. i never have to respond to balconf, just being together is a euphoric journey on its own.

balconf is my happy place when im in a painfully awkward or boring situation. balconf takes me there, all the way. my mind aches without u.

unconditional availability, balconf is always there. the first thing i see in the morning, and the last thing i see at night. our bond is sanctified, holy in all its glory.

yes, that is a balcony view on my background; waikiki, hawaii.


iz get socialf March 31, 2008

Posted by Mrm in architecture & Travel, balcony, confusion, emaciaty, food, out&about, random, WTFing.

ive been social today. many may think that my day was not social at all. social= when i have to encounter more than ten ppl in one day. i dont mean ten friends/coworkers/relatives where you have to carry out conversations with and put in some effort, i mean ten ppl that could be: a sister, a maid, the woman who says excuse me, the salam 3alaikoms, a cashier and so on. i count those as interactions/encounters.

im concerned…these minor social obligations shouldnt be this painful and tedious. i miss my balcony…in the words of emaciaty, “you like to sit up there cuz you are being as least social as possible yet close enough to do some people watching”. which is true, i know all the neighbors shit and actually have picked up some names of the people walking by; they are now characters. Soha and [insert random name because i havent discovered her name yet] like to walk around the block a few times before bed, and almost everytime they mention a ‘Badriya’ ili thab7at’ha qahar…i think there was a stand off involved and they verbally bitch slapped each other at a gathering or wedding or something. then there is 3alawee…im guessing he just recently had sex cuz one night at his diwaniya i heard a bunch of guys moaning ‘3alaweeeee’ very girlishly then hysterically laughing and howling. wtf? ive also grown accustomed to the two domestic workers that meet up at the corner every night and smoke. i dont understand a word they say but they always, ALWAYS talk to each other very aggressively; like they were threatening one another. then, they abruptly start laughing. ALWAYS.

anyways, very creepy office and disgusting graphic images of the ear canal ahead. that is my warning.

its been a while since the splinter of a whore emaciaty and i met up. she is bakf, hopefully permanently. i called her during the evening and asked if she wanted to get an ear cleaning with me. she agreed. does anyone else have get weird invitations like that? plz share.

waiting room: portrait of a sheesha…wtf?


and btw its not cool to take public pics in kuwait…not cool as in get beat up. this portrait was next to some 3abaya lump and her husband, i tried as best as i could not to get her in the picture which i have done, but she was leaning away and complaining to her husband and he and his four chins were twitching…wow…

emaci n i walked into the doctor’s office, and bless him hes a great doctor, but really it was very disorienting and confusing.

the creepy office…


[insert disney’s fantasia animation score]


and…he works in the dark. the images are not dark by fault, it really was dark. and he mumbles…emaciaty n i did not understand him most of the time he spoke. creepyf…emaciaty had a bite-size freak out when she was on the chair…i dont blame her…it felt like a confusing nightmare or what someone could experience when on shrooms.

now the graphicf partf…i got some serious advice today about cotton buds/q-tips. do not use them, they scrape away at the skin of ur ear canal and cause swelling and sometimes scarring and abrasions. the doctor’s advice was: after a shower, put a towel on ur ear and tilt ur head at a 90 degrees angle for a minute. he claims that water softens the wax out and drips out of the ear and onto the towel. i question this claim, but im going to have to do it because my ear canal has been crucified.

this is emaciaty’s ear


this is my tortured ear


actual skin scrapes can be seen. well, i must add that i love cleaning my ears with cotton buds…so this is an image of cotton bud abuse…but be carefulf.

i got a shot on my “prom da back” according to the nurse. Kamusta! i didnt start up a conversation with her this time. wasnt compelled to ask for it this time. we went to the pharmacy and got our meds like a couple of old farts and emaciaty noticed this supplement… “whats the point?” she said. hahahaha


which reminded me of a product i saw a while ago in another pharmacy


just how deterring are those labels?

it just was a very confusing hour.

then i met up with few feofle and had some coffee. i ordered a salad, but chirpy stole MY FORK and ate with her own fork and mine. she hogged the salad. chirp proudly points at exhibit A and B, emaciaty style.


we then toast our fingers for a lovely and very quirky evening. emaciaty’s so emaciated shes evaporating…


N., chirp, evaporaty…thankoo for nice time.

those were the confusing, socialf yet very fortunate events of my evening. twas cool tho.

Crane stalker December 26, 2007

Posted by Mrm in balcony, confusion, random, WTFing.

i wanted to see how dark it was outside so i step out onto the balcony and was greeted by a very loud, very close crane. why me?and why a crane?



a couple of months ago, a crane broke down behind my car and i couldnt really get out of my parking spot. a little man power and some backing up assistance later, i was free.


nights on my balcony December 8, 2007

Posted by Mrm in balcony, kuwait, random.


i love balconies. i would like to meet the person that doesnt enjoy balconies. then kill them

ilmohim, the past few weeks i have been spending a lot of nights outside on my balcony. even though i live adjacent to a ghetto neighborhood, the experience is very touristesque… thats not a real word, i made it up. but nice, no? what i mean by touristesque is that i feel i am far far away from where i really am…much like a tourist residing in a different world.

my balcony is quite entertaining… i would like to tell u the tales of some of the things i have witnessed and heard whilst on the balcony…balcony.

i heard a little boy get beat up by other little boys. i think it was a tribal thing. ahem.

i heard a bunch of girls and guys ( i guess relatives because i saw them leave a house together) leave a house. and i swear, i SWEAR i sensed a particular boy cousin and girl cousin had something for each other. seriously what i heard from the balcony, these two wanted to F each other. sexual tension was very clearly audible. its weird i know.

i heard squeaky noises, so i look and i saw a little boy riding his bicycle on the rims. no tires….on the rims ON THE RIMS. id expect this from like North Korea or Somalia or something but not in my neighborhood.

i think i witnessed an alcohol deal. i think.

i heard the song Umbrella by Rihanna at least twice from a [insert cool bimb ass yUkOn/cHaRGeR/iSKiLaDe/MoStInG GT] driving by, volume up, windows down. ghettolicious.

heard a baby crying on and off for around 20 minutes. i looked around i saw no baby and no sign of people. i might be a bit paranoid but i think someone just left their baby in some bushes or by the trash or something. i would feel so guilty if i ever read in the news about a baby’s body being found somewhere in my area. tara walla this shit happens sometimes…do u not watch ramadan kuwaiti soap operas?

heard car alarms go off. its beginning to sound like lebanon at night.

…i have only been using my balcony for two weeks. fucking ghetto.

and now for some random ass fun!

countries i have used balconies:



KSA (does chinko chabra balcony count?)







wow…my list makes me sound like a very naughty dirty kuwaiti ‘business man’. (“ee 7abeebti, 3indi mo2tamar ib Faranca o Landan o ba3dain inshalla inshoflina btha3a ib Massr wil Maghreb. i7timal inmor Thailand, shereeki yabi yshofla ma9ani3 hnak. Diri balich 3al 3yal. (stupid bitch ha-ha!). Ma3asalama feman allah”)

and now for some very primitive balcony blueprints. but the guy/lady has 2 balconies overseeing the ocean. good for them.