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brain teaser? March 17, 2008

Posted by Mrm in Blasphemy, out&about.
9 comments

spot the controversial blasph in this photo.

snapshot courtesy of Nwair.

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memory junk February 28, 2008

Posted by Mrm in Blasphemy, out&about, random, sex, WTFing.
11 comments

i just suddenly remembered all the weird ass shit ive heard over the past few weeks… get ready for some class A wtfing.

memory junk snippet ahead, get the damn popcorn.

mshhddd

i decided to go to the salon to have my hair blow dried and the only hairdresser on duty was a Thai woman. Funf!! so she starts washing my hair and i say the few Thai words i learned when i visited last year…she cheered…it was pleasant. i then sat on a chair and as she tended to my hair i asked her what her name was.

Her name was Moan. i thought i must have misunderstood her so i asked her to spell it out. “M-O-A-N”.

On another day i went to get my teeth cleaned. Being at the dentist is always the worst hour of my life. As i shivered my way to patient’s chair (by shiver i mean wobble. not fattff! just bloated.bloatff), a nice Filipina dental assistant prepared the area and prepped me up. They were the most intense 5 minutes of my stay there; albeit i had a cleaning AND a cavity. We had a conversation in Tagalog which is always fun…its like my Wasta with Filipinos, they tend to take better care of me when i speak to them in their language. Anyway, the first minute or so was just chit chat then i made the sincere mistake asking her if she was married. She immediately told me she had a daughter back home and her husband is a nurse in KSA and that shes so miserable. Im sorry, really…what the hell do u want me to say to that i dont know u!! so i let out an understanding sigh, then she further confessed to me that her husband had not passed his nurse’s degree and that the only place anyone would hire one without a nurse’s degree is in KSA. and she told me to shhhh bout it…what the hell? awkward+wtf+embrace privacy+ksa tsk tsk tsk+pain.

went to the hosp to get high off the IV drips so as i sat on the bed a Filipina nurse came and made small talk in in broken english and tagalog.

“hi”

“hellooo madam whats wrong why u need dis drip”

“i dunno exactly why but here the doctor’s slip”

“aaaaaiii…ur blad pressure is low dats why. whats ur name”

“mirim”

“u hab boyprend?”

“hahaha no i dont, everyone’s crazy and ugly hahaha”

“hahahaha ok ok do u want boyprend? i have so many men and dey will be lucky to hab u ur so byootipol”

“haaa…haaa… noo noo everyone’s a pig”

“really ur still young u must take adbantage of your age. i have kuwaiti, lebanese, egyptian also is very nice…”

“heh…uhhhh…no no really thank u i dont want”

“no really its ok no bady will know u u can come to party and see dem ok darling”

the bitch tried to pimp me out. i dont need to write what i think, im sure u have come to the same conclusions about how inappropriate, random, wtfuckery and scary that was.

that concludes the pointless memory junk i have for this evening. twas cool tho.

i dare u January 16, 2008

Posted by Mrm in Blasphemy, chalet, Money, random.
15 comments

darree

during spouts of boredom at the chalet, i have this pathology for daring people to do random, sometimes evil things for money. really…its a pathology, its a chronic addiction. everyone tells me i have a problem with this.

so anyways… last weekend it was after midnight, temperatures dropped to delightful lows. exactly the temperature i wanted for my evil, evil dare in mind.

i dared Nunu to go out in the literally blistering cold with just her pajamas on for some money. that may not seem so bad, had we not been the welcome mat for those peachy northern winds and heavy rains. ya3ni il wath3 Hurricane Karima. Kuki was intrigued, and so was D ili oboha min 6ahran. so all three huddle together outside, getting stung by the drizzle, the wind slapping them silly…having their bones shaken to the very core. We agreed on a solid minute, but i left them out there for a good 2 minutes. i could hear them yelling outside, while i was cosily nestled next to the heater. hahahahahahahahahahahhaahahaha!! so anyways… i havent paid them yet, but i will soon. promiseff.

another incident was when i had just gotten a tazer and wanted to try it out. So i dared Kuki to shock Nunu with the tazer for money. She did, and Nunu was paid.

My trademark dare is for me to slap the person in question for some money. Since it is a trademark, you can imagine how much was spent on building that image throughout the years.

I was lazy one night, and dared a couple of ppl to carry me up to my bed for money. I am not easy to move, making it hilarious watching them trying different strategies to lift and move. they failed.

One last sick one i shall share with you is probably the most disgusting one i had concocted to date. I had someone reduced to a cannibal. i had injured my leg and as the blood clotted a scab was born, only to be gulped down. Thats right, this anonymous person ate my scab for some money. disgustff! but funnyf as hellf!!!!!

the weekend is coming up, and i need new material. Any new ideas for dares? shareff!

mojama3 dasman findings January 8, 2008

Posted by Mrm in Blasphemy, random, WTFing.
9 comments

for those of u whom enjoyed my previous post about lolbags (which is what i shall call those korean made bags), here r a few more

“the really happy man is the one who can enjoy when he has to a detour”

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this one is clear…sij lolbag ya3ni

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the bears and the bees?

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emaciaty would like to point out that this is absolutely inappropriate for children. total blasph. (9b3ich 3gaidi emaci)

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another blasph. female reproductive anatomy in styrofoam, and its affordable! *only thumbnail…dont want gross u out because i cant think of anything more bizarre than the female reproductive anatomy in styrofoam.

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now really who the hell would want styrofoam sandwiches, baguettes and pretzels??? nevertheless, im impressed and amused.

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this poor woman forgot her cardkey…it was hanging with all the other cardkey holders that were on sale.

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i wrote something about this paper cut out for kids…. but deleted it. im not even touching it.

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Emaciaty rockin on rape staircase. no really i think this is where rape originated from.

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i was amazed at mojama3 Dasman. not only were there weird stationaries, but we also discovered a tailor that makes policemen outfits, imam outfits and im not sure but it looked like butcher outfits. we also found a place where all the reject bright red&white love valentines vomit teddy bears go to die.

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and those my readers are my unfortunate events of the day. twas cool tho

wishing u a blasphemous xmas December 24, 2007

Posted by Mrm in Blasphemy, Uncategorized.
8 comments

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jenna eated my santos clauseff chocolate manf. kil.

ho ho ho !

 

secular blog does not wish u a happy eid December 19, 2007

Posted by Mrm in Blasphemy, food, kuwait, out&about, random, sex.
8 comments

so if ur giving out 3ayadi this year Ha-ha ur old :P

i got pinkeye so i went to the pharmacy and of course the condom platter was right in front of me as i explained the situation of my eye to the pharmacist. now i could be wrong, but isnt this the dumbest stupid name brand for a condom? yes? no? maybe?

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elmohim, that same night i was supposed to have dinner with a few ppl, so as i was stuck in fucking 1st ring road for 40 minutes, i was behind this car the entire time. ‘So?’ you ask? yes i am aware that i am supposed to be stuck behind a car during traffic, same applies to the car behind me… but…

How many of u have been stuck behind a vehicle for what seems like for forever that happened to be THE FUCKER THAT HIT AND RUN U 4 YEARS AGO!!!!! IT WAS HIMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! i looked at the car brand…then at the license plate and it seemed familiar so i checked my phonebook (i have that bastard no-balls’ license plate number saved under ‘accident’). and it was a match! kil. walla no words can describe the anger and frustration of that moment. he was so close and for so long! but what could i have done… beat down in 1st ring road?

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then sometime during my absence from the blog i decided to go to cake&bake…hehehe i just love the name. well they had eid cakes…turn off. but overall, great service, great environment and their slogan is…well u judge what it is…

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then i found this number on the wall of a construction site. construction site man? really? u want middle aged, sexually frustrated which leads to sexually explosive construction workers calling u for a piece of ur ass? really man… location is everything. location location location! – plz help kuwait by prank calling $HARK$.

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