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hymen gel May 17, 2008

Posted by Mrm in kuwait, out&about, random, sex, WTFing.
14 comments

now that i have abruptly gotten ur attention, i would like to apologize to my 9 readers for my absence.

my absence did not involve:

  • falling seriously ill. mrmf finef.
  • donating my time and effort to some parliamentary candidate  with an aggressively revolutionary outlook on ‘change’, promising a brighter future with selfless dedication. eat my ass. its been the same shit since the mid 90s, nothing has progressed in this country. what peeves me is the voters  dont seem to care about these empty promises, they just remain loyal to a candidate that time and time again was proven to be worthless and useless. any progression such as women’s rights, nabeeha 5 and the segregation issue (still pending) has been pushed by the people through demonstrations. luff u, u makef me lil optimisticff.
  • getting hitched.
  • having finesse; tripped on a step during a funeral. wasnt an ordinary trip, it was one of those shin shattering, teeth clattering trips where my sun glasses which were resting quite comfortably on my head fell onto my nose. no one would have noticed, but because god loves to laff at me, the place had gone painfully silent at the exact moment god got his giggles. the slap of my slipper on the large polished tiles gave out a bitch of an echo, which diffused veeeery nicely into every corner of the house. ppl that were not in perimeter started to peek out trying to see who caused the blasphemous disturbance. plz god, choose someone else next time i am not ur clown.

and now for some virginastic fun! hymen gel!

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Mubarak Musings April 6, 2008

Posted by Mrm in architecture & Travel, food, kuwait, random.
11 comments

I heard that mbarak hospital has made extensive renovations in the past year or so, and today i had the unfortunate opportunity to see them. it was quite alright i guess… but i say unfortunate because in a country as wealthy as Kuwait, you’d fukn expect the place to be made of gold.

the ups and downs of a poorly planned project ahead.

i shall start with the ups.

i am so glad the hospital has evolved into one that actually uses signs instead of permanent marker scribbles  or notebook paper taped onto the door. alsof, the door knob is CLEAN…many ppl really dont value a clean door knob. the last place you wana have to touch a dirty door knob is in the hospital.  mbarak administration gets a doggy treat for this longly awaited occasion. +1

again, i cannot emphasize the often forgotten value of a clean hospital…reflections can be seen! and from the floor! this place was once dancing with rats! applaudf! Another treat, good boys. +1.

And as random as this is, at least the 18 Filipino muslims will have an ad3eeya book to read if they get sick. Who’re the good boys? you r! +1

intlx- ad3eeya=small book with excerpts of the Quran, im assuming in this case is to help the healing process spiritually.

and now, i will proceedf with the badf. Bad admin bad!

i mean it very literally when i say emaciaty wudnt be able to fit into this closet, severely emaciated as she is. mbarak? fuckfaces? 5million+ renovation budget and you couldnt make the closets just 10 inches wider? oh right…u each had to get that sports car for ur daughter, the Euro shopping sprees for ur wife, that house for your second wife, that apartment for ur north african mistress, the never ending investments u keep making knowing absolutely nothing about how it works and the bribes u r obligated to give so that ur money laundering will be hushed. ive over reacted, but ud be surprised how often this happens. -1

many people just cannot stand airplane food. its always complaints about the bread being too hard, the food too bland, the odor too strong and the choices too limited. next time ur snobby appetite starts bitching when ur being served a meal on a plane, think about what these sick ppl have to eat here at mbarak hospital in kuwait, one of the wealthiest countries in the world. were such a landfill of a waste.

torn wrappers, broken and possibly used containers, a stale kiri sandwich, and an unidentifiable slither of a slice pie…il7mdallah wishikr infashil. i am truly horrified and embarrassed.

i upload this ‘salad’ photo in disgust. -1

apparently, only the wards had been renovated. all the staircases, bathrooms and waiting halls have stayed just the same. not surprisingly, the photo below of the staircase is actually what some of the wards looked like. admin, u failf very miserably. -1

total rally:

ups-3

downs-3

because it is a tie, i have stated earlier that i guess the hospital was ok. i only felt diseased 15% of my time there, thats very good.

those were the meaningless, unfortunate critiques of my day. twas almost cool tho

random followed me to jarir bookstore March 2, 2008

Posted by Mrm in confusion, kuwait, out&about, random, WTFing.
14 comments

jarir was the random main course, the entre was the wtfkering journey.

now really…how can the ministry of planning misspell the capital of the country that raped us? no really HOW?

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britsh ppl r cooooooolf

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wow the Saudis have gotten really eerie/random with that place (for those who do not know, Jarir bookstore is a Saudi bookstore chain). the things they have there…are just weird. its like mixing cornflakes with a salad. everything is so out of place!

lets start with this…

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this kid really is unhappy… his face…7arram i wanna give him a donut! moving on…wat the hell? who the hell wants to be a Kuwaiti policeman for halloween? what the hell is this doing in a bookstore!!!

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why did they make scooby doo effeminate? again what the hell is this doing in a bookstore?

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Inoxcrom Pens advertise their products with a cartoon donkey with flies orbiting its head. this bookstore is hilarious!

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and those were my unfortunate, random events of the day. twas cool tho.

memoirs of a 7thiriya in pahahahaheeeel February 17, 2008

Posted by Mrm in botany, kuwait, Money, out&about, random, WTFing.
9 comments

before any of my 11 readers read into this as being abusive towards pahaheelians, i would like to clarify that i am being abusive and loving towards them. i fucking love that place. its hilarious, random and has the aura of tribal masculinity…which are some of the traits i look for in a man.mannfffi.

A few weeks ago, Nuki, jenna and i decided to visit the ‘heart’ of fahaheel’s thrift shops. by ‘heart’ i mean colon because thats wat the place smelled like.

a lot of pics ahead…yeyyyyy!!!

get ur old school broken gamegear to get it pimped and blinged out. i dont know if they really do that, i just assume.

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a Freej tracksuit any proud 8 yr old Fahaheelian girl can be proud of. “ba3d il 3ayayiz kilshay jayiz” -translateff “after the old women, everything is possible”

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yes! they can plan weddings AND get you a maid that can do what any ONE person can do…like cook, clean, garden, raise the 4-9 children you keep having for no reason, wash the car(s) everyday in blistering winters and sweltering summers, do the laundry, iron clothes, make up every room, fully capable of having all their dreams murdered by forcefully servicing you/your children and their friends, gets the groceries, commutes with your kids to school,  requires only 5 hours of sleep a night for just 40kd! *price negotiable based on age, and attractiveness. really, it is.

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wow this shop really put its faith on that one nagsha/print. who wants a a dress/curtains that looks like a headache? its everywhere! its almost all they had!

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really…?

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then just for rafsat/kicks we went in to see a jeweler to see how much Kuki’s ring would resale for.

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then this bastard looks at it for 10 minutes and says 35. it originally costs 300% more than that.

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wtf? really wahahhahahahahahhahahaahahaaha! i want to translate it for intlxpatr , but really i cannot think of the word for this in English, and this is coming from the person whose idiot sisters nicknamed ‘Essay’. i will try tho…

“the-person-who-has-just-recently-gotten-a-little-better-looking is in danger”

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and now upside down trees…in Jlai3a tho…mo b3eed min pahaheel, il damm wa7id.

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new yrs pictorial January 4, 2008

Posted by Mrm in chalet, emaciaty, kuwait, out&about, random.
8 comments

those bushy things that roll by randomly during a movie that express abandonment, isolation or a show down..i have never seen a green bushel before

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primitive gas station

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shortly after midnight… blanket by the sea, an emaciated guitarist performing, company saying random things which turn into songs sung childishly and a candle in the playful wind

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my view of/in 1.1.2008. It has potential to be a beautiful thing, but y’know people pollute. for those that did not follow, that bit applies to the sea and to the year ahead of me.

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Giovanni giving Emaciaty a high-five. an 80’s move, bes yalla still clever from a dog.

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Emaciaty would like to point out that Giovanni the Gay is her dog.

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And of course, the traditional fireworks that always go seriously wrong. This was taken by my sister before the rockets went berserk, starting spinning and shot flaming, gun powder filled sparks every which way. Up my sister’s ass (lol ur a real soldier), between my Costa Rican friend and Kuki, in the pool (the tssssssssss of the burning flame was so cool), in the bushes, above our heads…it was an unintended JackAss moment. it happens every single year so im beginning to doubt that it is unintentional.

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inti9ar is a cop IS A COP December 23, 2007

Posted by Mrm in inti9ar, kuwait, random, WTFing.
6 comments

hahahahahahaha these are from my phone, i snapped a few shots from funoon tv

like a COP speeding and ga7i9ing and running after criminals, sirens on the whole thing this is too funny ma asadig

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the show is shot in kuwait, so why was she driving an AMERICAN copcar?! lol this is TOO RANDOM!!!

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throwing a suspect onto the side of her police car haha

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and now for some accidental, but cool shots of inti9ar driving around in her american cop car

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secular blog does not wish u a happy eid December 19, 2007

Posted by Mrm in Blasphemy, food, kuwait, out&about, random, sex.
8 comments

so if ur giving out 3ayadi this year Ha-ha ur old :P

i got pinkeye so i went to the pharmacy and of course the condom platter was right in front of me as i explained the situation of my eye to the pharmacist. now i could be wrong, but isnt this the dumbest stupid name brand for a condom? yes? no? maybe?

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elmohim, that same night i was supposed to have dinner with a few ppl, so as i was stuck in fucking 1st ring road for 40 minutes, i was behind this car the entire time. ‘So?’ you ask? yes i am aware that i am supposed to be stuck behind a car during traffic, same applies to the car behind me… but…

How many of u have been stuck behind a vehicle for what seems like for forever that happened to be THE FUCKER THAT HIT AND RUN U 4 YEARS AGO!!!!! IT WAS HIMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! i looked at the car brand…then at the license plate and it seemed familiar so i checked my phonebook (i have that bastard no-balls’ license plate number saved under ‘accident’). and it was a match! kil. walla no words can describe the anger and frustration of that moment. he was so close and for so long! but what could i have done… beat down in 1st ring road?

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then sometime during my absence from the blog i decided to go to cake&bake…hehehe i just love the name. well they had eid cakes…turn off. but overall, great service, great environment and their slogan is…well u judge what it is…

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then i found this number on the wall of a construction site. construction site man? really? u want middle aged, sexually frustrated which leads to sexually explosive construction workers calling u for a piece of ur ass? really man… location is everything. location location location! – plz help kuwait by prank calling $HARK$.

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kick ass random botany December 17, 2007

Posted by Mrm in architecture & Travel, botany, kuwait, out&about, random.
6 comments

for kuwait, and its unpredictable fucking schizophrenic weather, these plants ARE KICK ASS to be able to deal with mentally unstable weather. kil.

anyways, this really is random botany… for those wanting to find meaning in the next 3 minutes of their lives, plz leave close this blog… u wont find any meaning here. just cute plants. kooooot flantsf.

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hatheela shway filim hindi bes 3ala ageisha style, no?

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and now special special special treat for those if u that read on… Pountains!

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will some one plz explain December 15, 2007

Posted by Mrm in confusion, kuwait, TV, WTFing.
10 comments

why there is a live English soccer game on ShowComedy Extra at 6.30pm?

anyone else see it? anyone else wondering? i want answers! is the game supposed to be funny? shsayir!

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emaciaty is so emaciated she has to go on a protein diet ha-ha December 11, 2007

Posted by Mrm in emaciaty, kuwait, out&about, random, WTFing.
10 comments

emaciaty pointing at protein supplement

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iss one huge bitch

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she had hurt her foot and wanted to go to the dr yesterday. so she made me drive her here… ya3ni fe royal hayatt, ilmowasat, ilhadi, 13978489430 private practitioners…but she wanted to go to the dr at nadi ilsalmiya. yes yes emaci im sure he is just as good..

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then we walked into kinkos where we were greeted by Filipino pageant music (one of the workers was watching what looked like a Filipino beauty contest on youtube).

while waiting, emaciaty set up these stamps to look like me and her.. believe it or not, this looks like a pretty realistic module of our sizes. our sizes only are/look exaggerated when we are next to each other… much like N. and his 180cm friend (dis pic for u N.)

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we look cute as stamps.

i love stationary. i am obsessed with those random difater ili ashkara made in china/korea/some place where english goes to die. hahaha ! “What a curious feeling!” said Alice; “I must be shutting up like a telescope”.

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“WE ARE ADVENTURERE” !!!!!!!

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gay hippy post December 8, 2007

Posted by Mrm in environment, kuwait.
7 comments

i was so distracted by the sky today i spaced out and forgot i was going to the gym. i had to detour twice. im such an idiot. anyways, nice sky, yes? no? maybe?

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nights on my balcony December 8, 2007

Posted by Mrm in balcony, kuwait, random.
5 comments

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i love balconies. i would like to meet the person that doesnt enjoy balconies. then kill them

ilmohim, the past few weeks i have been spending a lot of nights outside on my balcony. even though i live adjacent to a ghetto neighborhood, the experience is very touristesque… thats not a real word, i made it up. but nice, no? what i mean by touristesque is that i feel i am far far away from where i really am…much like a tourist residing in a different world.

my balcony is quite entertaining… i would like to tell u the tales of some of the things i have witnessed and heard whilst on the balcony…balcony.

i heard a little boy get beat up by other little boys. i think it was a tribal thing. ahem.

i heard a bunch of girls and guys ( i guess relatives because i saw them leave a house together) leave a house. and i swear, i SWEAR i sensed a particular boy cousin and girl cousin had something for each other. seriously what i heard from the balcony, these two wanted to F each other. sexual tension was very clearly audible. its weird i know.

i heard squeaky noises, so i look and i saw a little boy riding his bicycle on the rims. no tires….on the rims ON THE RIMS. id expect this from like North Korea or Somalia or something but not in my neighborhood.

i think i witnessed an alcohol deal. i think.

i heard the song Umbrella by Rihanna at least twice from a [insert cool bimb ass yUkOn/cHaRGeR/iSKiLaDe/MoStInG GT] driving by, volume up, windows down. ghettolicious.

heard a baby crying on and off for around 20 minutes. i looked around i saw no baby and no sign of people. i might be a bit paranoid but i think someone just left their baby in some bushes or by the trash or something. i would feel so guilty if i ever read in the news about a baby’s body being found somewhere in my area. tara walla this shit happens sometimes…do u not watch ramadan kuwaiti soap operas?

heard car alarms go off. its beginning to sound like lebanon at night.

…i have only been using my balcony for two weeks. fucking ghetto.

and now for some random ass fun!

countries i have used balconies:

Kuwait

Bahrain

KSA (does chinko chabra balcony count?)

Lebanon

France

Egypt

Morocco

Thailand

Dubai

wow…my list makes me sound like a very naughty dirty kuwaiti ‘business man’. (“ee 7abeebti, 3indi mo2tamar ib Faranca o Landan o ba3dain inshalla inshoflina btha3a ib Massr wil Maghreb. i7timal inmor Thailand, shereeki yabi yshofla ma9ani3 hnak. Diri balich 3al 3yal. (stupid bitch ha-ha!). Ma3asalama feman allah”)

and now for some very primitive balcony blueprints. but the guy/lady has 2 balconies overseeing the ocean. good for them.

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a lot of firsts today December 6, 2007

Posted by Mrm in kuwait, out&about, random.
4 comments

like really…the most random shit happened today…

i got my first massage ever today. Granted it was a foot massage (poor masseuse), i really enjoyed it. it was like someone was flirting with my feet. but then things took a turn… she started punching the soles of my feet… random? jes.

my emaciated friend decided to eat so we went to eat at some burger place…im not really a burjer person bes i liked the food. we were eating when i looked over to a table on my left…i saw a woman that looked like a Mongolian Fooziya ildrai3 with her salad in her hand. no…literally… her salad WAS IN HER HAND. the woman was eating her salad like she would eat a bag of doritos… random? jes.

before we left the restaurant and the salad freak, Emaciaty noticed this girl in her car being weird. so we watched her for a while, stalker style. she had parked and just sat in her car fixing her hair. then she got out and i guess paced around her car for a good five minutes… then she got in the back seat and stayed there. why? i dont know. about ten minutes later she got out of her car and walked to her destination. 7adha random, OCD style… i can imagine her doing that whole routine before she gets out of her car. random? jes. Possibly suffering from OCD? will know when we stalk her some more.

then we went to mbarikya, an array of scents danced in the air. The whole place smelled like a whale that had spent 2 hours jogging and took of its shoes. Not pleasant.

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i smelt a hint of 6eeb, but then realized it was some guy walking next to me drinking vimto. the smell of vimto is actually quite nice. moving on, we bought some chmaqat. actually that was an understatement. Emaciaty may have developed a chmaq monopoly. she spent around KD40. the typical chmaq cost KD1-2. Shopping problem? possibly. Fun shopping partner? dangerously.

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Emaciaty pointing at some shit she likes. They were quite nice i will post pics of the chmaqat later.

so we walk to the car. i got mokhalafa.

Mrm – 0 , Ministry Of Interior – 6.

the game aint over. bring it MOI bitches.

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so… i got a foot massage for the 1st time, saw a lady shoveling lettuce into her mouth using her hands for the 1st time, witnessed automotive OCD for the 1st time and went to mbarikya for the 1st time.

WTFing in the one December 2, 2007

Posted by Mrm in kuwait, out&about, WTFing.
9 comments

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so i was at the one cafe in stupid ass kuwaiti rejectville (marina) and i saw this on display… wtf

on a separate note, i pulled a muscle that no woman should… lets leave it that

on a random note, disturbing dream that i was michael jackson as a child and got it on with a 20 something year old kuwaiti guy. i assume the pulled muscle had something to do with this dream.

cat poo cookies!

The red dress, Subway and the confused dancer November 30, 2007

Posted by Mrm in kuwait.
4 comments

i hate weddings. i have seriously toyed with the thought of throwing myself down a flight of stairs to get out of them. havent yet, but the day will surely come.

[insert painful preparation story here]

then i waited for chirp to pick me up. we were going together to a high school friend’s wedding. ya7lailha Eggy. i genuinely wish her the best, great girl. anyways, she shows up in the cutest fucking red dress i have seen. seriously she looked like that cartoon woman in Who framed roger rabbit.

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but smaller and darker with dark hair and stuff. ok maybe that was an exaggeration. ilmohim…

granted i havent been to many weddings, i think i saw the worst dancer of all weird wedding dancers combined.

this middle aged woman in white danced “sharqi”. i put sharqi in quotes because that would be so blasphemous to the English literature.

I think chirpy said it best when she described this dangerously untalented woman in white as “rage9ha half robot and half seizure”. seriously, i have TRIED, but could not think of a better description. ill get u next time chirpss.

so anyways, i dont mean to be insensitive or anything but i am just the messenger telling u ppl what my other friend at the wedding said…”i dont think shes normal. feeha shay”.

looooooooool wtf!

even a friend that sat on the other side of the hall mentioned her when she texted me! -yes, i know im a loser. again, why do i have a blog?

elmohim, mali khilg i explain how she looked, just imagine 1/2 robot , 1/2 seizure.

two of my friends then coincidentally saw her in the bathroom, and they struck up a conversation. apparently, this lady in white is a dance instructor! WHAT STUDIO WOULD HIRE THAAAT!!??!! she is very confused. At BEST, (warning: insensitive image next) she looked like a recovering paralyzed victim of car accident TRYING to walk/skip. disturbing, but true.

moving on, we left the wedding and were so damn hungry i hadnt eaten anything that day so we go to subway.

home, then sleep.