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hymen gel May 17, 2008

Posted by Mrm in kuwait, out&about, random, sex, WTFing.
14 comments

now that i have abruptly gotten ur attention, i would like to apologize to my 9 readers for my absence.

my absence did not involve:

  • falling seriously ill. mrmf finef.
  • donating my time and effort to some parliamentary candidateĀ  with an aggressively revolutionary outlook on ‘change’, promising a brighter future with selfless dedication. eat my ass. its been the same shit since the mid 90s, nothing has progressed in this country. what peeves me is the votersĀ  dont seem to care about these empty promises, they just remain loyal to a candidate that time and time again was proven to be worthless and useless. any progression such as women’s rights, nabeeha 5 and the segregation issue (still pending) has been pushed by the people through demonstrations. luff u, u makef me lil optimisticff.
  • getting hitched.
  • having finesse; tripped on a step during a funeral. wasnt an ordinary trip, it was one of those shin shattering, teeth clattering trips where my sun glasses which were resting quite comfortably on my head fell onto my nose. no one would have noticed, but because god loves to laff at me, the place had gone painfully silent at the exact moment god got his giggles. the slap of my slipper on the large polished tiles gave out a bitch of an echo, which diffused veeeery nicely into every corner of the house. ppl that were not in perimeter started to peek out trying to see who caused the blasphemous disturbance. plz god, choose someone else next time i am not ur clown.

and now for some virginastic fun! hymen gel!

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umbrellas, the security camera and the molestor March 15, 2008

Posted by Mrm in architecture & Travel, food, out&about, sex, WTFing.
9 comments

yawnbear
Hello all… i have emerged from my hibernative state and joined the public masses.

phay/fajita has great networking skills because she managed to get a bunch of us to have lunch in under an hour. for some of u that may not seem like such a big deal, but in our clique that is a huge accomplishment because we’re all always scattered around and it takes us a god damn year to make plans. however, she managed to get gym obsessed do33, all-over-the-place jenna, out-of-place chirp and the hibernating mirim the mirim all together for a hearty hindi meal.

for some reason that is beyond me, we all got hysterically excited when we saw ourselves on the security camera of the restaurant. group photof!!

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we’re such losers.

moving on…we were seated by a tall mustached waiter and ordered. by mustached i mean salem the cat had made a permanent home on that man’s upper lip, 3abdallah alrwaished style. i had asked the waiter what his name was and he responded very monotonically ‘Mityou’. So when ever we needed our drinks to be topped off or for more napkins i would say ‘Mityou, please bring us [insert trivial task here]’. towards the end of the meal someone noticed his tiny name tag and it read ‘Matthew’. So the entire time i sounded like a moronic retard that has absolutely no command of the English language. Please, if you are given a Christian name, LEARN HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT. pleaseff.

the good part is next! yayyy!! molestationff!!!/1!!/!!!

after the hearty hindi meal, we did some shopping. we walked into a store and critiqued clothes. yes, we took a couple of steps back, pondered then commented and counter-commented on a blouse. we r opinionated shoppers. Yes. we are.

As this was all happening, an elderly Filipina saleswoman followed us around to help out. actually, to self herself TO. she cupped and squeezed do33’s ass twice. after the first time, do33 freaked out and was on my fucking back to help her. wtf? shasaweelich? (intlxp- what do u want me to do for u in a very mocking tone). after the second time, there was no distance from her torso to the back of my torso. do33 stuck to me like gum, the effing pussy. SHE HAS A BLACK BELT IN KYOKSHIN (some fancy ass mala da3i word substitute for karate)!!!! bitch karate kick her ass out. so yeah she was molested in public and all those years of ‘Haaaaaa-yaaaa’s and working out to the music of ‘eye of the tiger’ really paid of ha? idiotf.

so we take her to have some dessert…we read through the dessert menu and frankly each selection looked like a sure taste bud orgasm. do33 starts by ordering…

“please i want craym boolay”

“what maam?” *giggles the waiter

“crayyym boolay…” *mumbles very quietly because she know she has thrown a badleeya (verbal typo).

“HAHAHAHAA Oh she means creme broulet… Philip (Philip the Filipino waiter?) she would like a creme broulet”

“shutup mrm”

do33 and her craym boolay…

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our desserts and chirpy’s so very out of place plate of curly fries. wat the hell? chirpy and her nail polish dig in…

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i did not order that mountain of a brownie. i know the angle of the shot may indicate that it was i who was sitting in front of that sugary heaven. but i swear it was not, phay took the shot. i dont want to go on with this fat stigma!!! it has to end!!!

hahahaha do33 yal badliya! you r the emaciaty in this post…but only this post. emaciaty cannot be matched. but today, youve been emaciated!!

and now, i really would like to applaud the designers that decorated this mall. its creepy, yet contemporarily artsy fartsy. coolf.

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lady, better shots this time i hope? <:)

and those were the unfortunate, sex criminal events of my day. twas cool tho.

memory junk February 28, 2008

Posted by Mrm in Blasphemy, out&about, random, sex, WTFing.
11 comments

i just suddenly remembered all the weird ass shit ive heard over the past few weeks… get ready for some class A wtfing.

memory junk snippet ahead, get the damn popcorn.

mshhddd

i decided to go to the salon to have my hair blow dried and the only hairdresser on duty was a Thai woman. Funf!! so she starts washing my hair and i say the few Thai words i learned when i visited last year…she cheered…it was pleasant. i then sat on a chair and as she tended to my hair i asked her what her name was.

Her name was Moan. i thought i must have misunderstood her so i asked her to spell it out. “M-O-A-N”.

On another day i went to get my teeth cleaned. Being at the dentist is always the worst hour of my life. As i shivered my way to patient’s chair (by shiver i mean wobble. not fattff! just bloated.bloatff), a nice Filipina dental assistant prepared the area and prepped me up. They were the most intense 5 minutes of my stay there; albeit i had a cleaning AND a cavity. We had a conversation in Tagalog which is always fun…its like my Wasta with Filipinos, they tend to take better care of me when i speak to them in their language. Anyway, the first minute or so was just chit chat then i made the sincere mistake asking her if she was married. She immediately told me she had a daughter back home and her husband is a nurse in KSA and that shes so miserable. Im sorry, really…what the hell do u want me to say to that i dont know u!! so i let out an understanding sigh, then she further confessed to me that her husband had not passed his nurse’s degree and that the only place anyone would hire one without a nurse’s degree is in KSA. and she told me to shhhh bout it…what the hell? awkward+wtf+embrace privacy+ksa tsk tsk tsk+pain.

went to the hosp to get high off the IV drips so as i sat on the bed a Filipina nurse came and made small talk in in broken english and tagalog.

“hi”

“hellooo madam whats wrong why u need dis drip”

“i dunno exactly why but here the doctor’s slip”

“aaaaaiii…ur blad pressure is low dats why. whats ur name”

“mirim”

“u hab boyprend?”

“hahaha no i dont, everyone’s crazy and ugly hahaha”

“hahahaha ok ok do u want boyprend? i have so many men and dey will be lucky to hab u ur so byootipol”

“haaa…haaa… noo noo everyone’s a pig”

“really ur still young u must take adbantage of your age. i have kuwaiti, lebanese, egyptian also is very nice…”

“heh…uhhhh…no no really thank u i dont want”

“no really its ok no bady will know u u can come to party and see dem ok darling”

the bitch tried to pimp me out. i dont need to write what i think, im sure u have come to the same conclusions about how inappropriate, random, wtfuckery and scary that was.

that concludes the pointless memory junk i have for this evening. twas cool tho.

secular blog does not wish u a happy eid December 19, 2007

Posted by Mrm in Blasphemy, food, kuwait, out&about, random, sex.
8 comments

so if ur giving out 3ayadi this year Ha-ha ur old :P

i got pinkeye so i went to the pharmacy and of course the condom platter was right in front of me as i explained the situation of my eye to the pharmacist. now i could be wrong, but isnt this the dumbest stupid name brand for a condom? yes? no? maybe?

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elmohim, that same night i was supposed to have dinner with a few ppl, so as i was stuck in fucking 1st ring road for 40 minutes, i was behind this car the entire time. ‘So?’ you ask? yes i am aware that i am supposed to be stuck behind a car during traffic, same applies to the car behind me… but…

How many of u have been stuck behind a vehicle for what seems like for forever that happened to be THE FUCKER THAT HIT AND RUN U 4 YEARS AGO!!!!! IT WAS HIMMMMMMMMMMM!!!! i looked at the car brand…then at the license plate and it seemed familiar so i checked my phonebook (i have that bastard no-balls’ license plate number saved under ‘accident’). and it was a match! kil. walla no words can describe the anger and frustration of that moment. he was so close and for so long! but what could i have done… beat down in 1st ring road?

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then sometime during my absence from the blog i decided to go to cake&bake…hehehe i just love the name. well they had eid cakes…turn off. but overall, great service, great environment and their slogan is…well u judge what it is…

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then i found this number on the wall of a construction site. construction site man? really? u want middle aged, sexually frustrated which leads to sexually explosive construction workers calling u for a piece of ur ass? really man… location is everything. location location location! – plz help kuwait by prank calling $HARK$.

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ikhti is so very disturbingly weird December 13, 2007

Posted by Mrm in confusion, random, sex, WTFing.
10 comments

i found this in an old orange notebook of mine. kha6 ikhti. she doesnt remember when or why she wrote this.

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*my sister did not just learn how to write. she is 21.

*my favorite is faja “A beaver”.

Whats yours?? Lol

when i was 11 December 6, 2007

Posted by Mrm in memories, sex.
6 comments

and my corrupt cousin who shall remain anonymous enlightened me about sex, i had quite a reaction. Had i been a cat instead of a water retentive camel, i would have looked exactly like this.

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note: ever notice how its always the COUSIN that teaches you about sex? yes? no? maybe?

the person i will stalk next December 1, 2007

Posted by Mrm in sex.
3 comments

remember sawyer from Lost? an old pic, and some juicy recent ones.

sw

sw2

sw3

sw4

sw5

sw6
yes i know that last one was gay but it he is hot in it.

enyioy!