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designer sugarf September 3, 2008

Posted by Mrm in confusion, emaciaty, food, out&about, random, Uncategorized, WTFing.
7 comments

imagine what itd be like to eat sugar in the humidity. my thoughts and daydreams all include humidity. its like how ur dreams often revolve around a familiar setting; my dreams almost always include chalet, home or high school (very unfortunately). random mrm dream settings: an ancient Mayan ruin, Gorilla infested jungle, in an igloo…twas cool. fucking humidity. moving on, designer sugarf for those over compensating, revolting, wanna be rich dick/chick. wtf?

i r the absolute worstf matchmaker, but i think i got a match made in sanitary pad heaven here. izf proudf. :)

wtf was this guy on when he designed this children’s cereal? and what is with all this weird albanian products all of a sudden? check out this box and sco66ex in the pic above. i just randomly said albanian. i dont know where these products are fromf. more importantly, what was this albanian designer on?

i want answersf from all of u, especially emaciaty. izf better than albanian designer.

those were the albanianly unfortunate events of my jam3iya trip. twas cool tho.

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receiptf July 22, 2008

Posted by Mrm in food, WTFing.
2 comments

the iKuwait blog had a very memorable post about a receipt a while back; paying $50 for literally ‘NOTHING’.

here’s a receipt i had gotten recently. i paid one kd for SOUP OF THE DAY DONT MAKE!

wtfff?

iz influentialf July 4, 2008

Posted by Mrm in out&about, random, WTFing.
4 comments

i always knew i would be an influential person one way or another.

at different, random times during the past few weeks my friends spotted, documented and sent me pics ala random. i think they caught the bugf.

Phay spotted this very aggressive, sexist sign on the ladies bathroom at ikea

Jenna found this box of chocolai6 biskwi6s maaaam on the floor of the jam3iya. just so u know, she didnt pick it up.

Nwair followed these wonderfully civilized ppl. iz funf to be mistakenf for a goatf!

Kuki s’hail laughed at this mannequin. the cool dude image wasnt necessary tasteful, especially for a kid’s clothing store.  wat the hell?

medicalf mishapsf I June 23, 2008

Posted by Mrm in FAT, memories, WTFing.
6 comments

i have neglected my blogf for so long; i guess it started feeling like a chore to write up new posts.

i have a 6on of pictures for ur visual pleasure, but uploading is a slut so i will probably be doing that later on. i gave u false hope didnt i? ha ha!

now timef forf postf. fff. part I of III.

dvgvppppq

typically, i am a healthy person. however, throughout the years i have had quite a number of medical mishaps; not with the injuries or my health, but with the doctorsf.

mishapf 1:

Bahrain, 1990.

i fell asleep in front of the tv so my eldest sister thought ehya gadha o tgdar tsheelni o twadeeni frashi. so she dragged me by my arms to my bed. She then proceeded to fling me onto my bed. very unfortunately, i had a four post bed and a sister that throws like a girl. having ur 7 yr old face smashed onto a bed post is not a fun way to wake upf.

i was then taken to the hospital by my parents, while my Filipina nanny Mama Tina continually screamed at me to change out of my bloody felix the cat pajama dress…not because it was bloody but because she thinks Arabs are pedophiles. Here comes the mishap. The only doctor that was free at the time was Dr. Jawad. He was severely cross eyed.

instead of requesting another doctor to stitch up my swollen busted lip, my parents must have thought it was hilarious to let him do it. he did, they laughed, i craughed (cry/laugh hybrid). i guess thats where i get my humor from. we went home, and found my sister in thoob salat (praying attire) and frantically reading the quran. hahhahhhahahahaha she was scared my dad would kilf her, but he just laughed at her.

mishapf 2:

before i start, always get several medical opinions. ud be surprised how easily doctors can misdiagnose your condition.

one adolescent spring, i felt abnormally nauseas. it went on for almost a week until i told my mother i was feeling sick. a room search and an abrasive interrogation later, she was convinced i wasnt pregnant and told me to see a doctor. i went to al amiri and was looked at by an incredibly hairless kuwaiti doctor. Fifteen minutes, a cold examination and a series of questions later, he scribbled something on his super important medical pad and excused himself. the bastard went to have a tea break. I took the liberty of looking through his desk only to see the scribble reading:

انوركسيا

Now will someone plz explain how an obviously fat person that smells like chocolate and with no intention of slowing down be diagnosed with anorexia?

anorex

too bad we didnt have camera phones back then, i would have taken a picture. i wonder how different suspic’s school life is than mine was with the invention of the camera phone. i would have abused that privilege.

those were the unfortunate medicalf mishapsf in my memories. twas cool tho.

hymen gel May 17, 2008

Posted by Mrm in kuwait, out&about, random, sex, WTFing.
14 comments

now that i have abruptly gotten ur attention, i would like to apologize to my 9 readers for my absence.

my absence did not involve:

  • falling seriously ill. mrmf finef.
  • donating my time and effort to some parliamentary candidate  with an aggressively revolutionary outlook on ‘change’, promising a brighter future with selfless dedication. eat my ass. its been the same shit since the mid 90s, nothing has progressed in this country. what peeves me is the voters  dont seem to care about these empty promises, they just remain loyal to a candidate that time and time again was proven to be worthless and useless. any progression such as women’s rights, nabeeha 5 and the segregation issue (still pending) has been pushed by the people through demonstrations. luff u, u makef me lil optimisticff.
  • getting hitched.
  • having finesse; tripped on a step during a funeral. wasnt an ordinary trip, it was one of those shin shattering, teeth clattering trips where my sun glasses which were resting quite comfortably on my head fell onto my nose. no one would have noticed, but because god loves to laff at me, the place had gone painfully silent at the exact moment god got his giggles. the slap of my slipper on the large polished tiles gave out a bitch of an echo, which diffused veeeery nicely into every corner of the house. ppl that were not in perimeter started to peek out trying to see who caused the blasphemous disturbance. plz god, choose someone else next time i am not ur clown.

and now for some virginastic fun! hymen gel!

iz get socialf March 31, 2008

Posted by Mrm in architecture & Travel, balcony, confusion, emaciaty, food, out&about, random, WTFing.
9 comments

ive been social today. many may think that my day was not social at all. social= when i have to encounter more than ten ppl in one day. i dont mean ten friends/coworkers/relatives where you have to carry out conversations with and put in some effort, i mean ten ppl that could be: a sister, a maid, the woman who says excuse me, the salam 3alaikoms, a cashier and so on. i count those as interactions/encounters.

im concerned…these minor social obligations shouldnt be this painful and tedious. i miss my balcony…in the words of emaciaty, “you like to sit up there cuz you are being as least social as possible yet close enough to do some people watching”. which is true, i know all the neighbors shit and actually have picked up some names of the people walking by; they are now characters. Soha and [insert random name because i havent discovered her name yet] like to walk around the block a few times before bed, and almost everytime they mention a ‘Badriya’ ili thab7at’ha qahar…i think there was a stand off involved and they verbally bitch slapped each other at a gathering or wedding or something. then there is 3alawee…im guessing he just recently had sex cuz one night at his diwaniya i heard a bunch of guys moaning ‘3alaweeeee’ very girlishly then hysterically laughing and howling. wtf? ive also grown accustomed to the two domestic workers that meet up at the corner every night and smoke. i dont understand a word they say but they always, ALWAYS talk to each other very aggressively; like they were threatening one another. then, they abruptly start laughing. ALWAYS.

anyways, very creepy office and disgusting graphic images of the ear canal ahead. that is my warning.

its been a while since the splinter of a whore emaciaty and i met up. she is bakf, hopefully permanently. i called her during the evening and asked if she wanted to get an ear cleaning with me. she agreed. does anyone else have get weird invitations like that? plz share.

waiting room: portrait of a sheesha…wtf?

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and btw its not cool to take public pics in kuwait…not cool as in get beat up. this portrait was next to some 3abaya lump and her husband, i tried as best as i could not to get her in the picture which i have done, but she was leaning away and complaining to her husband and he and his four chins were twitching…wow…

emaci n i walked into the doctor’s office, and bless him hes a great doctor, but really it was very disorienting and confusing.

the creepy office…

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[insert disney’s fantasia animation score]

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and…he works in the dark. the images are not dark by fault, it really was dark. and he mumbles…emaciaty n i did not understand him most of the time he spoke. creepyf…emaciaty had a bite-size freak out when she was on the chair…i dont blame her…it felt like a confusing nightmare or what someone could experience when on shrooms.

now the graphicf partf…i got some serious advice today about cotton buds/q-tips. do not use them, they scrape away at the skin of ur ear canal and cause swelling and sometimes scarring and abrasions. the doctor’s advice was: after a shower, put a towel on ur ear and tilt ur head at a 90 degrees angle for a minute. he claims that water softens the wax out and drips out of the ear and onto the towel. i question this claim, but im going to have to do it because my ear canal has been crucified.

this is emaciaty’s ear

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this is my tortured ear

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actual skin scrapes can be seen. well, i must add that i love cleaning my ears with cotton buds…so this is an image of cotton bud abuse…but be carefulf.

i got a shot on my “prom da back” according to the nurse. Kamusta! i didnt start up a conversation with her this time. wasnt compelled to ask for it this time. we went to the pharmacy and got our meds like a couple of old farts and emaciaty noticed this supplement… “whats the point?” she said. hahahaha

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which reminded me of a product i saw a while ago in another pharmacy

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just how deterring are those labels?

it just was a very confusing hour.

then i met up with few feofle and had some coffee. i ordered a salad, but chirpy stole MY FORK and ate with her own fork and mine. she hogged the salad. chirp proudly points at exhibit A and B, emaciaty style.

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we then toast our fingers for a lovely and very quirky evening. emaciaty’s so emaciated shes evaporating…

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N., chirp, evaporaty…thankoo for nice time.

those were the confusing, socialf yet very fortunate events of my evening. twas cool tho.

iz bakf March 28, 2008

Posted by Mrm in confusion, out&about, random, WTFing.
11 comments

mirim iz bakf for some smelly fun.

absolutely everything i did today was smelly.

so for those of u that suffer from anal-nasal (those that get grossed out and nauseas when someone mentions shit or something and then think they actually can smell it, then get anal and dramatically nag you to stop talking about shit in disgust. shutup) refrain from reading this entry.

I dedicate this poorly lit, cramped fuwanees/lanterns photo to Chirp. was dragged to pick a couple of lanterns for the blahblahblahblahblahff…it was smelly. smelly=unfiltered cigarettes, socks, sweat, dust…just like the airport in sharm elsheikh.

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i was then dragged from a smelly place to an even smellier place.

ilmo3alim. the scents, the smells. oh, the unfortunate smells.

if ur anything like me, random at heart, you would go ballistic here…the randomness! im in luf! this is where now, i have decided, will be the time i shall extend a hearty request. I request, and urge u to go to ilmo3alim, snap the craziest shit and blog about it in dedication to mrm. yes, i like to inspire and i also want to see randomness from a totally non mrm perspective!!!

So, since i was dragged i did not want to spend a lot of time taking pictures. wanted to get the out of there and not feel diseased. why does petty boop look punished? taksir ilkha6r. but hey, at least they tried to respect a copyright law by spelling it petty boop…hehehhe petty! wtf! (o 7ag ildanabok rab3i ili may3arfoon shino ya3ni petty: of little or no importance or consequence) she looks like ‘petty boop; plz pet me cuz im sad :(‘ or for my more educated audience ‘petty boop; punish me…im a failure…im worthless and petty!’

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and now an item that matched the scent of the location…for 6.750 you can have ur very own pot that looks like its spewing boiling dog grass vomit. what the hell? really? ppl buy this?!?!//!!!?!1?

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at the counter they sold vibex. dont strain ur eyes trying to read. u will be provided a better view of the instructions below.

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no wonder the place smelled…their selling deodorant with instructions to use it once a week! wtf!

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i hate to admit it, but i would honestly love to have pancakes shaped like the suits with maple syrup. ohoo. of all the cravings i get, the worst one is when i have pancake cravings. really…ive screwed myself. i remember once i was up at 4am and sabrina the teenage bitch was on (back then) paramount and it was a pancake episode. i dont remember anything else about the episodes, just that there were a lot of pancakes involved. i wanted them. i painfully craved them for 4 days until i finally got some pancake mix and feasted. yes i was obese, ok emaciaty? but since then i have lost 15 kilos so shut the fuck up and dont even try to bash…ive been moving on…what have YOU done with ur face lately? no? nothing? still saluki looking? thought so, shutf.

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my favorite suit is spades…im drawn by its character. i believe they all have characters… this is how i see them:

Hearts: he seems like Corny Casanova from medieval times, full on with white stalkings and powder wig. very gay

Clubs: he seems like the geekily gay jokester…very puffy in contour, flaky with no sharp edges making him a pushover and lacking sleekness and finesse.

Diamonds: The rich bitch of the bunch and she will eat you alive.

Spade: its shaped as if two question marks mirrored one another, giving it a mysterious essence. id like to see her as the mysterious, dark cut throat of the bunch. coolf!

the smelliness resembled feet, pit stain stench, cancer, bug spray, and detergent.

on the way i home i stopped by this tiny little monajid (intlxp-not exactly a furniture maker, but a small place that can sow pillows, bean bags, floor seatings, etc) run by very old Irani men and it smelled like tea, chalk (wtf?), ni3il/slippers, bread and cigarettes. not so bad compared to the previous smells i was exposed to. i had asked him to make the fastest, cheap bean bag he could because i needed it last minute. i even gave him pictures of a bean bag. they were clearly bean bags. and this is what he came up with. its nothing remotely close to a bean bag, but i was impressed…i love it! the fabric its very plain, i know, but i chose that fabric for a tiny little beanbag i really wasnt going to go all designy with a bean bag. and this is what he came up with…i shall call this the Irani beanbag. it is comfy as hell. im making emaciaty a smaller one. will show picture when its done.

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and those were the smelly, unfortunate events of the evening. twas cool tho

umbrellas, the security camera and the molestor March 15, 2008

Posted by Mrm in architecture & Travel, food, out&about, sex, WTFing.
9 comments

yawnbear
Hello all… i have emerged from my hibernative state and joined the public masses.

phay/fajita has great networking skills because she managed to get a bunch of us to have lunch in under an hour. for some of u that may not seem like such a big deal, but in our clique that is a huge accomplishment because we’re all always scattered around and it takes us a god damn year to make plans. however, she managed to get gym obsessed do33, all-over-the-place jenna, out-of-place chirp and the hibernating mirim the mirim all together for a hearty hindi meal.

for some reason that is beyond me, we all got hysterically excited when we saw ourselves on the security camera of the restaurant. group photof!!

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we’re such losers.

moving on…we were seated by a tall mustached waiter and ordered. by mustached i mean salem the cat had made a permanent home on that man’s upper lip, 3abdallah alrwaished style. i had asked the waiter what his name was and he responded very monotonically ‘Mityou’. So when ever we needed our drinks to be topped off or for more napkins i would say ‘Mityou, please bring us [insert trivial task here]’. towards the end of the meal someone noticed his tiny name tag and it read ‘Matthew’. So the entire time i sounded like a moronic retard that has absolutely no command of the English language. Please, if you are given a Christian name, LEARN HOW TO PRONOUNCE IT. pleaseff.

the good part is next! yayyy!! molestationff!!!/1!!/!!!

after the hearty hindi meal, we did some shopping. we walked into a store and critiqued clothes. yes, we took a couple of steps back, pondered then commented and counter-commented on a blouse. we r opinionated shoppers. Yes. we are.

As this was all happening, an elderly Filipina saleswoman followed us around to help out. actually, to self herself TO. she cupped and squeezed do33’s ass twice. after the first time, do33 freaked out and was on my fucking back to help her. wtf? shasaweelich? (intlxp- what do u want me to do for u in a very mocking tone). after the second time, there was no distance from her torso to the back of my torso. do33 stuck to me like gum, the effing pussy. SHE HAS A BLACK BELT IN KYOKSHIN (some fancy ass mala da3i word substitute for karate)!!!! bitch karate kick her ass out. so yeah she was molested in public and all those years of ‘Haaaaaa-yaaaa’s and working out to the music of ‘eye of the tiger’ really paid of ha? idiotf.

so we take her to have some dessert…we read through the dessert menu and frankly each selection looked like a sure taste bud orgasm. do33 starts by ordering…

“please i want craym boolay”

“what maam?” *giggles the waiter

“crayyym boolay…” *mumbles very quietly because she know she has thrown a badleeya (verbal typo).

“HAHAHAHAA Oh she means creme broulet… Philip (Philip the Filipino waiter?) she would like a creme broulet”

“shutup mrm”

do33 and her craym boolay…

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our desserts and chirpy’s so very out of place plate of curly fries. wat the hell? chirpy and her nail polish dig in…

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i did not order that mountain of a brownie. i know the angle of the shot may indicate that it was i who was sitting in front of that sugary heaven. but i swear it was not, phay took the shot. i dont want to go on with this fat stigma!!! it has to end!!!

hahahaha do33 yal badliya! you r the emaciaty in this post…but only this post. emaciaty cannot be matched. but today, youve been emaciated!!

and now, i really would like to applaud the designers that decorated this mall. its creepy, yet contemporarily artsy fartsy. coolf.

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lady, better shots this time i hope? <:)

and those were the unfortunate, sex criminal events of my day. twas cool tho.

who likes Jenna’s WTF roll? March 10, 2008

Posted by Mrm in food, WTFing.
5 comments

really, just a piece of wtfing art.

Wott Shi yohh!?  (is what i imagine ‘wtf?!’ is in Sushic)

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random followed me to jarir bookstore March 2, 2008

Posted by Mrm in confusion, kuwait, out&about, random, WTFing.
14 comments

jarir was the random main course, the entre was the wtfkering journey.

now really…how can the ministry of planning misspell the capital of the country that raped us? no really HOW?

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britsh ppl r cooooooolf

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wow the Saudis have gotten really eerie/random with that place (for those who do not know, Jarir bookstore is a Saudi bookstore chain). the things they have there…are just weird. its like mixing cornflakes with a salad. everything is so out of place!

lets start with this…

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this kid really is unhappy… his face…7arram i wanna give him a donut! moving on…wat the hell? who the hell wants to be a Kuwaiti policeman for halloween? what the hell is this doing in a bookstore!!!

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why did they make scooby doo effeminate? again what the hell is this doing in a bookstore?

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Inoxcrom Pens advertise their products with a cartoon donkey with flies orbiting its head. this bookstore is hilarious!

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and those were my unfortunate, random events of the day. twas cool tho.

memory junk February 28, 2008

Posted by Mrm in Blasphemy, out&about, random, sex, WTFing.
11 comments

i just suddenly remembered all the weird ass shit ive heard over the past few weeks… get ready for some class A wtfing.

memory junk snippet ahead, get the damn popcorn.

mshhddd

i decided to go to the salon to have my hair blow dried and the only hairdresser on duty was a Thai woman. Funf!! so she starts washing my hair and i say the few Thai words i learned when i visited last year…she cheered…it was pleasant. i then sat on a chair and as she tended to my hair i asked her what her name was.

Her name was Moan. i thought i must have misunderstood her so i asked her to spell it out. “M-O-A-N”.

On another day i went to get my teeth cleaned. Being at the dentist is always the worst hour of my life. As i shivered my way to patient’s chair (by shiver i mean wobble. not fattff! just bloated.bloatff), a nice Filipina dental assistant prepared the area and prepped me up. They were the most intense 5 minutes of my stay there; albeit i had a cleaning AND a cavity. We had a conversation in Tagalog which is always fun…its like my Wasta with Filipinos, they tend to take better care of me when i speak to them in their language. Anyway, the first minute or so was just chit chat then i made the sincere mistake asking her if she was married. She immediately told me she had a daughter back home and her husband is a nurse in KSA and that shes so miserable. Im sorry, really…what the hell do u want me to say to that i dont know u!! so i let out an understanding sigh, then she further confessed to me that her husband had not passed his nurse’s degree and that the only place anyone would hire one without a nurse’s degree is in KSA. and she told me to shhhh bout it…what the hell? awkward+wtf+embrace privacy+ksa tsk tsk tsk+pain.

went to the hosp to get high off the IV drips so as i sat on the bed a Filipina nurse came and made small talk in in broken english and tagalog.

“hi”

“hellooo madam whats wrong why u need dis drip”

“i dunno exactly why but here the doctor’s slip”

“aaaaaiii…ur blad pressure is low dats why. whats ur name”

“mirim”

“u hab boyprend?”

“hahaha no i dont, everyone’s crazy and ugly hahaha”

“hahahaha ok ok do u want boyprend? i have so many men and dey will be lucky to hab u ur so byootipol”

“haaa…haaa… noo noo everyone’s a pig”

“really ur still young u must take adbantage of your age. i have kuwaiti, lebanese, egyptian also is very nice…”

“heh…uhhhh…no no really thank u i dont want”

“no really its ok no bady will know u u can come to party and see dem ok darling”

the bitch tried to pimp me out. i dont need to write what i think, im sure u have come to the same conclusions about how inappropriate, random, wtfuckery and scary that was.

that concludes the pointless memory junk i have for this evening. twas cool tho.

rich country= trafficly challenged February 28, 2008

Posted by Mrm in out&about, WTFing.
3 comments

u know… i bet most kuwaitis would prefer building a new mall rather than fixing this…

WTFing in almowasat February 28, 2008

Posted by Mrm in WTFing.
6 comments

i kinda forgot i had a blog… but i have remembered now so let the wtfing commence!

sometime in my grief stricken absence (Citibank, i know you missed alllllllllllllla this) i had the opportunity to stalk this walking beauty school experiment gone awfully wrong and snap a shot… yes, she was fashioning turquoise hair tips… WTF?

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and this is emaciaty touching me. she thought it would be fun to withdraw the needle…yknow, she’d be a good junkie one day, she handles needles very well.

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memoirs of a 7thiriya in pahahahaheeeel February 17, 2008

Posted by Mrm in botany, kuwait, Money, out&about, random, WTFing.
9 comments

before any of my 11 readers read into this as being abusive towards pahaheelians, i would like to clarify that i am being abusive and loving towards them. i fucking love that place. its hilarious, random and has the aura of tribal masculinity…which are some of the traits i look for in a man.mannfffi.

A few weeks ago, Nuki, jenna and i decided to visit the ‘heart’ of fahaheel’s thrift shops. by ‘heart’ i mean colon because thats wat the place smelled like.

a lot of pics ahead…yeyyyyy!!!

get ur old school broken gamegear to get it pimped and blinged out. i dont know if they really do that, i just assume.

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a Freej tracksuit any proud 8 yr old Fahaheelian girl can be proud of. “ba3d il 3ayayiz kilshay jayiz” -translateff “after the old women, everything is possible”

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yes! they can plan weddings AND get you a maid that can do what any ONE person can do…like cook, clean, garden, raise the 4-9 children you keep having for no reason, wash the car(s) everyday in blistering winters and sweltering summers, do the laundry, iron clothes, make up every room, fully capable of having all their dreams murdered by forcefully servicing you/your children and their friends, gets the groceries, commutes with your kids to school,  requires only 5 hours of sleep a night for just 40kd! *price negotiable based on age, and attractiveness. really, it is.

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wow this shop really put its faith on that one nagsha/print. who wants a a dress/curtains that looks like a headache? its everywhere! its almost all they had!

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really…?

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then just for rafsat/kicks we went in to see a jeweler to see how much Kuki’s ring would resale for.

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then this bastard looks at it for 10 minutes and says 35. it originally costs 300% more than that.

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wtf? really wahahhahahahahahhahahaahahaaha! i want to translate it for intlxpatr , but really i cannot think of the word for this in English, and this is coming from the person whose idiot sisters nicknamed ‘Essay’. i will try tho…

“the-person-who-has-just-recently-gotten-a-little-better-looking is in danger”

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and now upside down trees…in Jlai3a tho…mo b3eed min pahaheel, il damm wa7id.

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again with the cranes January 17, 2008

Posted by Mrm in WTFing.
9 comments

i swear i could hear it from the dentist’s chair.

i had gone to the dentist and as i left, this crane was in the lobby.

i had to wait for them to move it. again.

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